Southern Charm

Chapter 25

JESSIE

It had been two weeks since I'd come home from the hospital and lost my angel Paisley Ridge. Since then, I've grieved a lot, and so has Trace, but we're more vital than ever. Being someone who has lost a child, you might not think that being mentally stable is possible. I can't say I am right now, but with Trace next to me, things are better than if alone. Even that being said, my family has stuck by me like glue, and I don't feel alone. Grief is complicated, and we must learn that whoever we had to let go of is in a better place. Better things are on the way.

When the time is right, that is.

Trace and I have had numerous conversations and have agreed instead of trying to conceive again, we would look into adoption now. Nothing was set in stone, but it was a big topic on our minds.

While Trace and I were strong, I was still struggling a lot. It was hard for me to sleep with my mind racing with thoughts, and when it came to eating, I didn't want to touch food. The sight of it disgusted me. Part of me didn't want to live knowing I had lost to children, but Trace reminded me it wasn't my fault.

When our front door was knocked on, I answered in my pajamas and an oversized shirt belonging to Trace. It was noon, and I hadn't even bothered to change out of my sleepwear.

My mouth dropped open at who stood on our doorstep. "Lainey? What are you doing here?" I asked.

Lainey smiled and held up a dish. "I brought your favorite chicken casserole for lunch. I hope you're hungry!"

"Who told you I wasn't eating?"

Lainey shrugged as I let her into the house. "I'm not going to say names, but many people. Come on, Jess, it's your favorite. You can't possibly turn it down. I made it with love!"

I took the dish and placed it on the kitchen counter. It was still hot, and it smelled amazing. "I could turn it down, but you came all this way, and my mouth is watering, so I will eat some."

Lainey clapped her hands. "Yay, I'm glad. So, how are you doing?"

I shrugged. "I've been worse, but I've also been better. It's been hard, and having to go through it twice now. I'll admit this time was harder because I saw my daughter and held her little body. Neither time was easy, though."

"You're strong, Jess. We haven't been the closest friends lately, and I'd like to change that. I know you're going through a lot. I'm here for you. You were my best friend once, and I'd like to think we could be like that again."

I smiled. "I'd like that. Getting out of the house and having a distraction would help me a lot. I haven't done hardly anything since coming home."

"What if we take a girl's trip out of town? Something fun that we've always wanted to do. Like, I don't know Disney World. Or somewhere else like England?"

Trace entered the house and raised an eyebrow. "Did I hear England?"

Lainey and I chuckled. "Yes, Lainey mentioned that. She was thinking a girl's trip would be good for me. I like that idea but don't want to leave you," I said.

Trace wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed my cheek. "I will be okay on my own. I'm a big boy, and besides that, I won't be alone. You live on a ranch with your family, remember?"

I nodded. "I know, but we are married and have done everything together. Unless you want a break from me?"

"Honey, I don't ever want a break from you. You can bother me for the rest of my life, and I won't care. A girl's trip away will be good for you, though. Time to catch up with all your friends and have fun," Trace said.

"Aw, you two are so cute!"

Trace and I glanced at Lainey with smiles. She'd never seen us together much. We never got to do that dinner we had discussed, but I hoped it was soon for us.

"Well, Lainey, where should we go? I think Disney sounds like a blast. I have never been, and where else will you get a picture with Mickey Mouse?"

*Three days later*

The trip to Disney World in Orlando, Florida, was happening. We had just arrived at the first park for the day, which was Magic Kingdom, and let me say, we were all acting like eight-year-old children.

The group of us girls consisted of Meghan, Bailey, Lainey, Naomi, Candace, and myself. Veronica decided to stay home, considering she had the twins not long ago. Putting all that care on Colton seemed too much trouble, especially when the twins were itty-bitty. Those were precious moments, and they wouldn't stay that little for long.

Our first full day in the park was terrific. We all got matching Mickey Mouse ears and followed up with a picture of Mickey Mouse. We enjoyed tons of rides and plenty of delicious food. It was expensive, but the entire trip was worth it. We only stayed for four days to go to all of the parks. Each one was just as magical as Magic Kingdom.

We met so many Disney characters and bought many things that we probably shouldn't have on the last day, and that was when I got the call. The call that changed my life yet again, and you're probably wondering what it was about. I thought after everything Trace and I had been through, it was going to be bad news. I thought maybe his cancer had come back or someone else was sick or died. That was not the case.

The call was about a little girl who needed to be fostered. Her mom overdosed on drugs, and no one was sure if she would make it. No other family was around to take her; somehow, our name came up about being interested in fostering or adopting. What makes it all crazier is that his little girl is only four months old. I feel bad for her mom, who was probably doing it all on her own and let the drugs take over. Of course, I wanted the mom to be okay and survive the overdose, but if she did, it would be a long recovery, depending on how bad her health is.

After talking to the lady from the agency on the phone, my heart immediately knew that this little girl was meant to be ours. Do you want to know why?

This little girl's name is Paisley Ridge.

Just like my little one's name.

Paisley Ridge Black.