helluva boss/hazbin hotel fanfic-Devils lettuce

📰Channel 666 news 📰

After walking for several hours, Y/N needs to find a place to remain low for his remaining time here in hell. He comes across a small crowd of demons watching TV through a store window. The demons were watching a news show called "Channel 666 News." As Y/N tried to make his way through the crowd, he would catch a glimpse of the news. He would see a tall demon named Katie Killjoy with blonde hair wearing a red dress, and a small demon named Tommy Trench with a gas mask for a face wearing a blue suit.

Katie Killjoy: Good afternoon, I'm Katie Killjoy.

Tom Trench: And I'm Tom Trench. Chaos is out of Pentagram City today as a turf war is raging on the west side. Between notable kingpin Sir Pentious and self-proclaimed spunky powerhouse Cherry Bomb.

Katie Killjoy: That's right, Tom. After the recent extermination, many areas are now up for grabs. Demons all over Hell are already duking it out to gain new territory.

Tom Trench: Those two seem to be going at it, huh?

Katie Killjoy: Looks like they're fighting tooth and nail for that hot spot.

Tom Trench: And I'd sure like to nail her hot spot. Hoo hoo

Katie Killjoy: You are a limp dick jackass, Tom. Or should I say...[Pours her hot coffee on his crotch]...No dick?

Tom Trench : [wincing in pain]  Not again!

Katie Killjoy: Coming up next, we have an exclusive interview with the daughter of Hell's head honcho, who's here to discuss her new passion project. All that and more, after the break![turns to Tom, still writhing in pain] Suck it up, you little bi-

As a commercial break occurred, Y/N started to raise questions in his mind.

Y/N mind: I seriously gotta get the hell out of hell! What's the extermination? Is it like the purge for all sinners? Plus, where are these vines coming from? Is this a part of the cursed book that brought me here? What am I gonna do?

The commercial break comes to an end with Katie Killjoy running into her seat.

Katie: and we're back, so Charlotte...

Charlie: it's Charlie

Katie: whatever, tell us about this new pet project you've been insistently pestering our news station about!

Charlie: well...[clears throat] As most of you know, I was born here in hell. And growing up, I would always try to see the good in everything around me. Hell is my home, and you put my people. We just lost so many souls, it breaks my heart to see my people being slaughtered every year and no one is given a chance.[slams fist on desk] I can't stand idly by while the place I live in is subjected to such violence! So....I've been thinking, isn't there a more humane way to hinder overpopulation in hell? Perhaps we can create an alternative to change souls through...redemption. Well, I think yes! So that's why I'm opening the first of its kind, a hotel that rehabilitates sinners.

Y/N was shocked and curious about Charlie, he would start to question if she was a demon at all. She had a heart of gold and hearing how much she cared for her people started to give Y/N hope to take on any challenge that came his way. Unfortunately, the other demons around him would show looks of disbelief and disgust. Y/N starts to notice Charlie losing her confidence while on live TV.

Charlie: You know? Cause hotels are for people passing through...temporarily...I figured it could serve a purpose, a place to work towards redemption...yay...

Y/N mind: oh no, she's dead in the water.
Charlie: look, every single one of you has something good deep down. I know you do..💡..maybe I'm not getting through to you...

Charlie then snaps her fingers to kill the lights in the news station, the lights suddenly turn on revealing Charlie sitting on a piano. Charlie would then start to sing.

Y/N mind: knowing this place, this won't end well.

When the song came to an end, all the demons in the audience of the news station would remain silent until one wearing a top hat would speak up.

Top hat demon-wow, that was shit!

Charlie's expression of confidence would fade to despair, after hearing all the demons laughing at her about her idea to help sinners. Y/N would start to feel sorry for Charlie. She might be a demon, but she only wants what's best for her people. Katie Killjoy would then stop laughing and look at Charlie.

Katie: what in the nine circles makes you think a single denizen of hell would give two shits about being a better person?! You have no proof this little experiment even works! You want people to be good, just BECAUSE [Katie starts to laugh again]

Charlie: well, we have a new patron already, who believes in our cause, and he's shown incredible progress

Katie: oh? And who might that be?

Charlie: oh, just someone named...Angel dust.

Tom: the pornstar?!

Katie: you fucking would Tom! In any case, that's not much of an accomplishment. I'm sure you can make that hooker do anything with enough booger sugar and lube.

Charlie: oh, I beg to differ. He's been behaved, clean, and out of trouble for two weeks now.

???: breaking news

Katie: we are receiving word that a new player has entered the ongoing turf war! Let's go to the live feed

The live feed would show angel dust destroying eggs in the west side turf war.

Charlie: oh shit

Katie: "Oh shit" indeed! It looks like the one who just joined the battle is none other than[gasp] pornstar actor Angel Dust. What a juicy coincidence! You must feel really stupid right now.

Katie and Tom: hahaha ratings

Charlie starts to freak out and attempts to stop the playback on the green screen behind them.

Charlie: don't look at this

Katie: well it seems your pet project is dead on arrival. Tell us, how does it feel to be a total failure?[laughs]

Charlie: oh ya, how does it feel that I got your pen, huh, BITCH?!

Dead silence would then go throughout the whole studio. Katie would then stop laughing after what Charlie just called her.

Charlie: heh-heh, oops.

Quickly dropping the pen on the news desk, Charlie knew she fucked up. Katie would then have blind rage filling her face as Tommy Trench would sprint offset.  Suddenly, Charlie and Katie were having a fistfight on live TV. The televisions would then all go off the air. Y/N would then start to hatch a plan on where he could lie low while in hell. No one in hell was taking this hotel seriously. plus, seeing how Charlie likes to help people. It seemed like it was his only hope of returning home. Y/N collected himself but noticed that channel 666 news came back on. Katie Killjoy looks like she won the fight, but she still looked pretty beat up. Tommy Trench looks like he was recently on fire.

Tom: if you're just joining us, we have received amateur footage of someone surviving an encounter with an exorcist during the recent extermination.

Katie: not just one, but he survived taking on ten at once.

Suddenly Y/N would see his face on the TV. It turns out, someone was recording Y/N during his first fight. It would also show him falling into hell a second time.

Tom: what kind of demon is he anyway?

Katie: it could be a demon lord in their human disguise.

Tom: I've seen demon lords fight, and they don't surrender so easily. Honestly, I think he might be human.

Katie: a human?! In hell?! Humans can't exist in hell if they still have their souls.

Tom: either way, where is this so-called "mortal that fell twice?"

Y/N would then start to face the hard truth, the word was out, Hell knew he was here and hell wanted to meet him. Without any other options, Y/N would start to look for this hotel owned by the daughter of Lucifer.