helluva boss/hazbin hotel fanfic-Devils lettuce

💲Marmons magnificent musical💲

We cut to with Fizzarolli looking into his mirror, focused on a grey patch with a scar over his right eyebrow with great concern. Then he begins searching around the vanity area for something as Asmodeus stands behind the couch nearby.

Fizzarolli: Oh, fuck. Mammon is gonna notice that. Ozzie! Where did my foundation go?!

Asmodeus: This is the tenth year in a row you've done this stupid pageant, Froggie. And you win everytime! How come you're always so dead set on this?

Fizzarolli: I wanna make Mammon proud, okay? He's- really passionate about the craft of clown. He expects perfection, so I- I gotta be perfect.

Fizzarolli slumps into the couch as Asmodeus approaches him.

Asmodeus: Fizz, you ain't perfect! Nobody is! How abooout, you sit this one out, and let someone else take the spotlight? You deserve a break. Or a vacation, where you don't have to fend off creeps the entire time.

Fizzarolli: *scoffs* I had to fend of creeps before the robots, I just have thirstier ones, now. Besides, I just- have to do this!

Asmodeus: *frowns* Lemme rephrase: I don't like how many creeps you have now, thanks to Mammon. And I don't like designing sex toys with your likeness for him! Pretty sure you feel the same.

Fizzarolli: (frustrated) I just don't think about it, a toy is a toy! *calms down* Look, Ozz, I'm fine. Working for Mammon is a big deal to me. He's been my idol since I was five, I can't just- not compete! I'd be letting him down! Th-the fans down!

Asmodeus: (bluntly) Mammon can eat my ass - in a bad way. Fizz, I've known that guy since the start of Hell, and He. Fucking. Sucks. Always has! He doesn't even do clown shit anymore.

Then Asmodeus sees the dejected look on Fizzarolli's face and lets out a heavy sigh before handing him a small jar of foundation. (Apparently, he had it on him the entire time) Fizzarolli takes the jar and, while facing the mirror, applies some until the grey patch is gone.

Asmodeus: I just don't want you doing all this for someone's approval. Sometimes heroes let you down.

Fizzarolli: I know, Ozz. But, this- i-is for me. I don't wanna lose.

While watching Fizzarolli prepare for the contest, Asmodeus begins to think of something. Meanwhile, Blitzo, alone in his house. He is sitting on his couch in the dark, while disgustingly eating cereal when his phone rings.

Blitzo: (mouth full) Yello?

Asmodeus: - Is this- Fizz's former bestie, then lifelong enemy, then recent hero, now newly rekindled sort of friend, Blitzo?

Blitzo: Ehn, that is a weird way to put it, but (proudly) eeyup, that's me.

Asmodeus: This is Asmodeus.

Blitzo: (surprised) Oh, shit. The big Ozz himself! Heh, is there a reason you're calling me on the weekend Your sin- sinness? Sinfulness? Sin- *stammering* Royal, big man?

Asmodeus: You've lived rent free in Fizz's head for years, so I can't help feel he values your take on things.

Blitzo: Yeah, I was the one who usually had the stronger opinions. Yeah like, like one time, he tried convincing me that juggling was cool, but it's only a little cool at best.

Asmodeus: Look, he's deadset on re-entering Greed's yearly clown pageant.

Blitzo: (sarcastically) Wow, big fucking surprise there.

Asmodeus: I was hoping to have some...backup in convincing him that this thing is a waste of time.

Blitzo: (confused) What? Why? Doesn't he always win?