Adam X Lute: Undying Love

Adam/Lute: Pov

(A nice and angsty chapter for you guys PS: is all angst )

I curled into my knees I haven't let go of the photo since I found it. I don't wanna fucking be here, I don't wanna do this Sunday school bullshit, I didn't want to die. They took everything, I had everything, and now I have fucking nothing.

Everyone hates me but I don't care they can suck my left nutsack. I can feel every part of mental stability breaking down. It just wasn't fair yeah I know I'm an asshole. I know people avoided me. I fucking know my ego is through the roof. But did I deserve to die? I have fucking feelings to! To be sent down here. I did what heaven told me and I did it well.

A part of me wants to take and angelic knife to my chest again and just fade from existence. Yes I'm the original dick but that's all I fucking have. I'm not special and no one made me feel that way. Not that bitch Lilith, or fucking eve at least she tried. Not until I met lute fuck I miss her so fucking much I can't even describe it.

I guess I get what a deserve an eye for an eye as they say right? I could only imagine how lute would see me as this fucking hideous monstrosity that used to be her man. She would fucking leave me. Just like everyone before, they all left me. No one fucking stays even if they promised. They all left in the end.

She already did

She left me down here in this hellhole. She left me to die. Didn't she love me? yea she told me how much she loved me. B-But did she actually? Was I not good enough for her? I know I call her bitch, slut, cunt but she knows I don't really think of her that way right? RIGHT? Is that why she left me down here, did I treat her badly? she didn't say anything.

She could've tried bringing me to heaven before I died. Am I too selfish to think that? To maybe get a second chance? I could change I just know I can
I promise I can and this would be a promise that I could keep and never fucking break.

I put the photo on the dresser next to my bed as I curled up into a ball to try and fall asleep. All I could think about was lute. Because I could never choose to love another not again.

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Another day another sleepless night. I've lost the will to cry anymore. Fuck me I need to get some actual work done today. I can't keep on laying on this bed waiting for him to come back knowing it will never happen.

I put my uniform on for the first time in weeks and head to the training grounds.

As I arrive things are noticeably fine. I walk in and all the exorcist are training like the would normally. They all stare at me as an arrive awaiting orders. This felt weird this felt wrong this isn't who I'm supposed to be this is Adam's job god damn it. Or it was his job.

I just wave them off as I walk towards, well just my office. It still felt weird to call things mine when him and I shared it for so long. As I walk in everything remained untouched. All of his items on his desk covered in dust.

I got a bit excited as I went t rummaging through the drawers looking for it. Damn it it's not here, that stupid photo of us the one that he kept around. It wasn't here fuck me.

I couldn't take it anymore the pain the suffering the loss. It was to much, and there was only one way to solve it.

I will go down there by myself if I have to but I won't stop until princess Morningstar and her shithole friends are all dead