Miss Americana and The Hearbreak Princess

Chapter Seven - Begin Again

Note: Have you read The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid? This story reminds me of it. If you haven't, you better start reading. It's my favorite book! 🥹

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"Are you okay?" Mei asked, "you look a little... nervous."

"Nervous?" Becca laughed, feeling slightly faint as her hands trembled in her lap, one leg curled up beneath her as she curled in on herself as if she would go unnoticed if she made herself smaller, "I'm bloody terrified. I've kept this a secret for thirteen years. I don't even know what I'm feeling right now."

Looking towards the cameras, Mei waved dismissively, a small smile curling her lips, "let's take a break."

Nodding, Becca pushed herself to her feet with relief, stretching out her stiff muscles as the sound of noise and commotion filled the room. 

Mei climbed to her feet and gripped Becca's arm as she walked part, telling her that she was doing great, and Becca gave her a faint smile, feeling slightly shaky as she curled her hands into fists. 

Taking a slow breath, she walked away from the scene of the interview, stepping over snaking black leads and around camera and sound equipment. Rawee was standing off to one side, with Beer, Nam and Jen next to her, and Becca made straight for them.

Giving them a nervous smile, she accepted a bottle of water off Jen and took a tentative sip. Her heart was beating rapidly in her chest and her palms were clammy, but there was an overwhelming feeling of relief as well. She'd finally been honest with the world. 

It was a good feeling, to be able to be herself, even if there was an undercurrent of fear at what everyone would say. But the people she cared about knew already, and they loved her and accepted her, so Becca was less frightened than she'd been the first time she'd come out. 

It hadn't been easy, all those years ago, and she doubted it would be now, but it was something that she had to do. 

For too long, she felt like she'd been living a double life, and she just wanted to let go of some of the secrets weighing heavily upon her.

"I'm proud of you," Rawee firmly told her once Becca had managed to calm herself down slightly. "That was... very brave."

Letting out a surprised laugh, Becca raised her eyebrows and gave her mum a wry smile. 

"Brave? What, waiting thirteen years to come out?"

Reaching up to cup her daughter's face in her hands, Rawee smiled down at her with faint amusement in her green eyes. 

"Whether you came out when you were fifteen or fifty, it's still a brave thing to do."

A brooding look crossed Becca's face and she gently pulled back from her mum's touch, taking another sip of water and looking over to the camera crew. 

Running a hand through her hair, Becca pressed her lips together in a thin line. An exasperated sigh made her turn back to the group she stood with, and Beer reached out and started fiddling with her hair. 

"Don't do that," she chided her, "you need to look perfect for the cameras."

"And you need to sit properly, Becca," Nam scolded her, "don't curl your feet up beneath you, it's inappropriate. And your posture is atrocious."

"Yes, yes," Becca flippantly agreed, knowing that it was better to take their advice than try and argue that it was uncomfortable and she wanted to do as she pleased. 

After all, they'd been hired to make her look and act the part of a celebrity, to pose as someone who could navigate her way through interviews, wearing the latest fashion trends, to always be ahead of the game and keep people talking about her.