Miss Americana and The Hearbreak Princess

Chapter Forty Two - All You Had To Do Was Stay

Hey, all you had to do was stay 

Had me in the palm of your hand

Then, why'd you had to go and lock me out when I let you in 

Stay, hey, now you say you want it

Back now that it's just too late 

Well could've been easy

All you had to do was stay

-

"Marry you?" Becca echoed, her voice hollow and halting.

She let out a shaky laugh and leaned back in her seat, giving Freen a rueful smile. Her palms were clammy as she ran them over her thighs.

"This is a joke, right?"

Confused hurt crumpled Freen's expression as she let out a quiet laugh of bewilderment. 

"What? No. No, it's not a joke. I- I love you. I want to... spend the rest of my life with you."

Becca's heart wrenched in her chest as she gave Freen a pained look, "I love you too, I--"

"So marry me," Freen insisted, a childlike look of wonder and earnestness on her upturned face.

Sunlight bathed her skin golden and her eyes were wide, piercing azure and full of so much hope. Becca gave her a tight smile as she reached out and cupped Freen's cheek in her hand, tenderly stroking her cheekbone as she looked at her for a long moment.

"I'm only twenty-three, Freen, I can't get married."

"So we'll have a long engagement."

"Freen. This is serious."

With a wide smile, Freen's eyes crinkled at the corners with amusement, "of course it's serious. That's why I'm down on one knee. Ring and all."

Running a hand through her hair, Becca opened and closed her mouth for a few moments, speechless in the face of such a proposal. As she floundered, Freen's impish look of delight dropped, slowly retracting into a wounded look of disappointment.

"Oh. So... no?"

Stomach lurching, Becca jerked forward, reaching out with desperation to graze her fingers along the underside of Freen's jaw, along her shoulders and the side of her neck, reassuring herself with touch.

"No, no, it's not- it's not no, but I- I can't just... make a decision like this. I need time to think- there's a lot- it's- it's a big decision. And not one I can make lightly."

With a tight-lipped smile, Freen's slender fingers curled around the ring in her palm, hiding it from sight as she clenched her hand into a fist. She reached up and cradled Becca's face in her other hand and tenderly stroked her thumb over her cheekbone.

"Take a few days. Think on it," Freen whispered.

Relief washed through Becca, followed by a flicker of fear and guilt, and then a softer flutter of desire, of urgency, and she leant forward to gently press her lips against Freen's, putting as much love into it as she could.

She pulled back and gazed at Freen for a few moments, before the kneeling woman climbed to her feet and gave her a crooked smile as she looked down over her, her shadow falling across Becca's face.

"I should go home."

"Wait," Becca blurted out, rising quickly to her feet and taking Freen's hand in her own. "You don't have--"