Miss Americana and The Hearbreak Princess

Chapter Fourteen - Last Kiss

"I told you my story had three beginnings, right? But not every beginning coincides with a breakup. But if there are three beginnings, I suppose there are also three endings, and they are the breakups."

"Three breakups?"

"Essentially, yes. We'd argue and call it off and come crawling back the next day, but those were just in the moment kind of things. They were never serious. But there were three serious endings, and I guess that this was the first."

As smoothly as everything had been going - for the most part - of course it didn't stay that way. Rawee and Robert went back to London after a few more days, and Becca kept Freen clear of them for the rest of their stay, and was filled with relief when they went. 

She missed them so much, but she couldn't help but feel nervous when they were around, as if she was doing something wrong, even though she knew that she wasn't. 

It was going to be hard for her to feel comfortable around them, but she hoped that distance would give everyone the time that they needed. Space would be good for them.

But a week later Freen wrapped her movie and was going to Seattle to shoot a new film for three months. Becca had known about it, but it had seemed like such a distant thought, something that was so far away and outside of the bubble that her and Freen created. 

They were doing the best that they could with their light night visits and the occasional secret outing to an antique store or a coffee shop, but distance would be the real test. In their industry, nothing made or broke a relationship more than distance. 

Of course it was expected - Becca would be off touring after her album dropped anyway - but she was desperate to hold onto the moments that they had and silently hoped that the day would come slowly.

It didn't though, and sooner than she would've liked - a lot sooner - she found herself standing in her doorway with Freen, hugging her tightly and fighting back a wave of sadness. 

Loneliness welled up inside her, and Becca's eyes burned with the thought of curling up in her bed alone, of pacing her empty apartment in the early hours of the morning, knowing that Freen wasn't about to turn up after a long day of shooting. 

The knowledge weighed heavily in her heart and she clung to her a little bit tighter.

Sensing her sadness, Freen pulled back and rested her forehead against Becca's, her hands coming up to gently cup her face in her hands, her warm breath ghosting against her lips, and Becca closed her eyes as a lump formed in her throat. 

"I'm going to miss you," she softly admitted, her voice cracking slightly.

"It won't change anything," Freen gently assured her, "not for me and you. You can- you'll visit. And I'll be back for premieres and interviews. It won't be so long."

"I know," Becca sighed, her shoulders deflating as her eyelids fluttered open and she pulled back, a small smile curling her lips. 

She didn't mention that when Freen finished shooting, she'd be getting ready to tour, and when she came back, Freen would be shooting again. It was a never-ending cycle. 

Instead, she cradled Freen's upper arms in her hands and gently squeezed as she gave her a more convincing smile. 

"It's going to be great. Seattle's great. You're going to crush it."

Freen quietly laughed, an anxious look in her deep brown eyes as the corners of her mouth quirked up slightly. She was nervous, but there was excitement brimming beneath the surface, and Becca was excited for her.