Just you and I

XXX

(POV Saylor)

The week went quickly, I stayed quiet in school, went to my car during lunch break the first day, but went to the art room instead the rest of the week. I stayed late in art almost every day working on random art pieces. Mr. Deans would let me, he said I wouldn't get in trouble as long as I did my work for English class.

But today's friday, and I'm an anxious mess, even Sophia could tell this morning. She would barely walk in to class, she fought Lisa picking her up. She went in eventually after I promised her it would all be fine and she'd see me first thing tomorrow.

I get to class just in time, as I've been doing and head inside. I plop down next to Ezra, ask her how she is, the usual. When Ms. Jones closes the door, I stop talking.

"Alright, class. We're doing another writing assignment. Come get a prompt and write about it. Whether you write a poem, a story or anything else. Due at the end of the class, or monday morning for 3/4th of the grade."

I'm the last to walk up, I pick the last piece of paper in the bowl and return to my desk. I open the piece of paper.

'Sickness'

Really? I roll my eyes and raise my hand.
"Yes, Ms. Martin?"
"This prompt is stupid."
"Then you probably should've gotten up earlier so you wouldn't have had the last one."
"You think you're so smart it's pathetic."

I shake my head and start writing.

Sickness.
8 letters, multiple meanings.

The flu, sick.
6 letters, 1 meaning, multiple opinions.
Nauseous.
Restless.
Vomiting.

Depressed, sick.
9 letters, 1 meaning, multiple opinions.
Attention seeking.
A myth.
A diagnosis.
Lifeless.

Love, sick.
4 letters, 1 meaning, multiple opinions.
Fake.
Heartbreaking.
Draining.

Cancer, sick.
6 letter, 1 meaning, multiple opninions.
Crushing.
Life or death.
Lonely.

Alcohol, sick.
7 words, 1 living hell.
Abuse.
Abandonment.
Alone.

Sickness. 8 letters. Never ending.

I sign my name and hand it in.

"Not so bad after all, Ms. Martin?"
"Not so bad after all" I mock her. I go back to my seat and plop down. "Stay after class, please."

I had to stay anyways I say to myself. The bell rings, I say bye to Ezra and stay seated.

Dani looks up when she makes sure everyone's gone. "I liked your assignment."

"Oh cut the crap. Just tell me what you wanna say."

She grabs her stuff and gets up, "let's go."
I frown but follow her. "Meet me at the bench in 10." She says before leaving me in the hallway.
This woman. I groan but start walking. I dump my backpack in the car before heading over.

Dani arrives right after I sat down. She walks over and sits down next to me. She sighs and turns to me. I meet her eyes and keep eye contact.

"Just get it over with, I knew this was coming."
"Saylor I wanted to just tell you how I feel, I'm not deciding anything."
"Fine. I'm listening."

She grabs my hand and looks at me almost begging me for reassurance.

"I care about you. A lot. The second I leave, I miss you. I want to kiss you every second of the day, Saylor. I want to go on dates, make breakfast together, team up with Soof to annoy you. I want to talk about life until 5 in the morning. I want to do all that without having to teach you English class the next day. Lainey adviced me to just talk to you about how I felt. So.. here I am. Talking."

"Lainey?"
"She knows."
"Ben?"
"Doesn't."

I let go of her hand. "I hear you. I understand."

"Saylor. Tell me how you feel. Please."
I shrug my shoulders.
"The same I guess."
"You're lying."
"Would it matter? If I actually tell you, will you change your mind?"

I look into her eyes. She's not saying anything, but her eyes do.

"I'll leave you alone, Dani. I'm leaving for spring break anyways, and then the semester will be over before you know it."

"You're leaving?"

"I got an internship at an art school. I am so talented apparently. You wanna know why? Because I am so absolutely broken and flawed and messed up." I feel the tears rolling over my cheeks, but it doesn't stop me. "And I pour all of that into my artwork, and it somehow creates a masterpiece. So while everyone is in awe of my work, I am crumbling inside. And the one person who made it so easy to deal with and the one person who made me consider talking about all the shit I've endured, decided to just stop caring. Because that's what this is right? You're a liar, Ms. Jones. You were never going to stick around and be there for me like you promised. You're just as bad as everyone else."

I get up and leave her behind.

I run to my car as I'm bawling my eyes out. I get in and drive to work.

---

Lucy could tell something was wrong, but she didn't ask. It's busy, I've just been working non-stop for hours now. More and more people walk in, I don't even have time to notice the group's in here until Melody is right in front of me.

"Hi."
I sigh. "What can I get you?"
"Forgiveness?"
I raise my eyebrow. "Excuse me?"
"Saylor, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean for any of this to happen or for it to get around. I thought I could trust him, but I was wrong. I understand if you don't want to forgive me, but please let me try."
"Fine." I say and walk away to serve someone else. She gives me a small smile and walks away to the rest of the group.

As it's slowing down, Lucy tells me, or more so forces me to take a break. I give in and go outside for a minute, I eat a snack as I take in the fresh air. I grab my phone and text Lisa to ask how Soof is doing. As soon as I put my phone away, it buzzes. I take it out, but it's not Lisa texting me back.

Dani: Hi. I was just wondering if you're okay
Me: it's not your place to wonder anymore
Dani: i know.