Grian Angst |~One Shots~|

|~Transformation P1~|

Grian is forced to transform into his watcher form

This idea is pretty well-used by a lot of different people on Wattpad (and probably Ao3), so im not gonna credit anyone since i have no idea where the original idea came from

TW: Self-hate, graphic descriptions of pain (I think), imprisonment and ig trauma

Grians POV

I escaped the watchers. All those years ago, I finally freed myself. I remember the torture I endured, the agonizing pain, being forced to kill people, to turn people- and being punished when I didn't. I remember getting taken advantage of simply because of how powerful I was. The watchers had a ranking system, and I was near the top- probably because of my admin abilities. I hated it. I hated them. I hated the watcher part of me. I hate the eyes. The being watched, the vicious purple glow. I hated everything about watchers, and so did everyone on hermitcraft. But I am a watcher. I guess that means they all hate me..

It's been years since I transformed, technically once every month I'm supposed to transform just to release some built-up watcher energy and to stretch my wings, but I ignore it. Sure, the longer I go without transforming, the worse the pain gets. On the one day of every month I'm supposed to turn back, if I don't transform then that day turns into a living hell- I usually have to stay home all day because of the pain, but still I manage. It's worth it. I feel like the minute I give in and transform, the minute I accept the watcher part of myself. And I absolutely hate being a watcher, so that isn't an option. After having fought off instincts for years, I almost had forgotten about my watcher half as well as the reason why I was in so much pain that one day of the month. But the pain only got worse. And the longer I put transforming off, the more my wings slowly bit by bit started to turn purple. It was only the slightest amount of purple fading in from the bottom of my wings, but I knew it'd get worse over time. Other hermits questioned it, but I just told them that it's pretty common for avians wings to change color halfway through their life.

Anyways, tomorrow is supposed to be the one day in the month that I turn back.

|~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~|

Time skip to the next morning

I woke up to the feeling of soft blankets encasing me and early morning sun rays dancing across my face peeking through the windows.

It was going to be a great day, I could feel it. I was so comfortable that I never wanted to get up. Nothing could ruin this moment.

That's what I thought.

Until a slightly rolled over.

Immediately, pain sprang across my stomach, engulfing every inch of my body. My limbs felt like fire was blazing through them, I instantly got a horrible migraine, and my stomach have me immense cramping pains making me want to throw up the food I didn't eat for dinner last night.

I tried to move, but my body was shaking so horribly that I just slipped out of bed and fell onto my knees, then to all fours, then curled up in a ball on the floor.

Sitting there on the floor in constant pain was the worst. The what used to be happy warm sun rays now only made my migraine worsen by the moment. Every second that passed by felt like a minute, and my breath was now only coming out in a shaky, ragged inhales and exhales. All my bones felt shattered, and I felt glued to the floor, unable to move.

I had certainly dealt with days like this before, but it had never been this bad.

My vision was blurry, and when I tried to call out for help, my speech was slurred. My finger was far too shaky to call anyone from my communicator. I felt my stomach twist and turn and slide against itself, making the urge to throw up even stronger. I'm not even strong enough to stand up and get painkillers, which is usually my strategy for these days.