Grian Angst |~One Shots~|

|~Diary~|

Mumbo finds Grians old diary

(This is my AU, I do not ship Grumbo)

TW: Watchers, depression, thoughts of suicide, mentions of torture, questioning if you are you (idk), uhhh this one can be triggering so lemme know if I missed any tyy <33

Grians POV

Today, anything could set me off. Any small random thing that didn't go to plan or upset me in some way, shape, or form would cause an outburst. Whether it was an outburst of anger or sadness, I'm unsure of. I stub my toe. Outburst. I dropped an item. Outburst. I misplaced a specific block. Outburst. It's strange, really. On rare occasions, I'd wake up and just have these kinds of days.

Ever since I joined hermitcraft, my mental health skyrocketed - although still a little shaky. Although compared to previously, before hermitcraft, my mental health is beyond and above. The only side effects still left from all that trauma is I think these off days.

Whenever I woke up feeling like this, I made sure to steer clear of any other hermits and only do relaxing activities like fishing or maybe even meditating or napping.

Well, today was one of those days.

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Present time

I sat down in my room, assembling a jigsaw puzzle. I found these puzzles to be quite relaxing aswell as rewarding once I finish them, plus as a bonus, they take a while to put together that way I won't be bored. It was the perfect remedy to these insufferable days.

I yawned, stretching my arms back, enjoying the heavenly feeling of stretching first thing in the morning. It was pretty early, after all.

I made my way up off the ground to go get some food from my.. chest monster. I cursed myself for having no organization.

After two minutes of searching, I was beyond upset and had kicked the chests a few times. Then, I remembered my underground secret fishing room (if ykyk, go watch season 10 of grian hermitcraft)

I grabbed a handful of seeds, emptied them into the composter, and took the small drop. I scowled at the small bit of damage I took falling down, but still - at least I knew where my food was now. I knew that somewhere in here, were fish. They should be easier to find here rather than out in my main chest monster.

I searched every single chest, always left empty-handed, causing my anxiety to inflate for no reason.

Finally, I reached the second to last chest and checked inside it. Broken fishing rods and a worn-out, familiar old book.

I reached my final point and angrily kicked the chests, sending it toppling over with the insides spilling out everywhere.

I walked over to the mess, now unsure of what to do. I looked down at my feet, seeing the book that was labeled: Grians Diary. I hardly write in it now, but boy, did this diary bring back memories. Horrible ones at that. Gingerly, I plucked it off the ground and gently held it. Slowly, I opened the leatherbound cover and flipped to about halfway through the book, and started to read a bit of it.

Instant regret gave me a good slap in the face, and I slammed the book closed, not wanting a reminder of my horrible past.

My fingers slightly shook, and anxiety flooded through me. Replacing anxiety, there was anger. Anger with nothing behind it, just an emotion. A powerful emotion.

I angrily with all my strength ripped apart the cover, continuing on to the aging yellow paper with smeared ink stains. Papers were littered across the floor, looking as though a tornado had hit the small underground room.