Percy's Dirty Affairs

Thalia

It was a fairly average day in Olympus, the home of the gods. Aphrodite was not currently pregnant, so she was probably somewhere on earth looking for a mortal partner. Ares was delighting in the violence of the Middle East. Hephaestus was hard at work, tinkering on his newest project in his forge. And Apollo and Hermes were hanging around in one of the many palaces, watching television.

Hermes made a face as he grabbed the remote. "Ugh, there's never anything good on anymore. Heracles Bashes Heads has really declined ever since almost the entire cast died." Here he referred to the recent Second Giant War, in which many of the demigod actors died.

Apollo made a face and cleared his throat, raising his hands dramatically.

"These channels suck, bro,

They need to make changes to

Hephaestus TV."

He smirked, proud of himself. Hermes rolled his eyes; at least he wasn't doing limericks anymore. "Aren't the lines all supposed to be independent from each other?" he asked. Apollo opened his mouth but Hermes cut him off, "Don't answer that, its not important." He looked at the remote with interest. "Hey, you ever wonder what the heart button does?"

"Nope," his bored half-brother responded. "Probably just marks channels or shows as favourites."

"But there's an arrow going through it," Hermes went on. "I'm gonna press it."

"Press it, then."

"I will." And he did it, the absolute madman.

The entire television went black before pink letters slowly appeared on the screen. They read, Welcome to Aphrodite TV. Click OK to enter.

"Whoa," Apollo said. "Aphrodite got Hephaestus to make her her own network?"

"And to think I was sure Hephaestus was going to go the entire century without getting laid," Hermes snarked. "Its probably just girly rom-coms, though."

"Here, gimme that," Apollo said, grabbing the remote. "I say we at least check." He clicked the OK button on the remote, and more words appeared on the screen. "Ew, more reading? Forget I bothered."

He went to change the channel back but Hermes stopped him. "Hold on! Read that!" Apollo sighed, but did so.

Hello, fellow lovers, and welcome to Aphrodite TV. For the past year, I have coerced and cajoled demigods and gods into filming pornography, for our entertainment. I hope you enjoy as much as I did. Click OK to continue.

"What the Hades?" Apollo inquired, but pressed OK once again.

The screen disappeared, and was replaced with small thumbnails of naked men and women, bearing titles such as "Hot nymph gets anal for the first time" and "Slutty daughter of Hermes takes Satyr cock" (to which Hermes covered his eyes), and many more.

They opted to sort the videos by "most popular" (both were disgusted by some of their daughters and half-siblings in the videos) and finally decided on one titled Incest is Relative - 42 min, mostly out of morbid curiosity.

The screen turned black once again, with words appearing in pink: Incest is Relative, starring Thalia.

"Wait a second," Hermes said. "You don't think 'Thalia' is Thalia, do you?"

Apollo looked at him with dry amusement before looking back at the TV.

The sound of a weak shower played as the camera focussed in on an empty shower. Then a teenaged girl walked into view, a silver circlet on her brow. Though she had been born close to twenty-five years ago, she had been frozen at the age of sixteen. The daughter of Zeus, Thalia Grace was nude apart from the circlet, revealing a buxom, voluptuous body, especially so for a sixteen year old.