Craigs gang makes a group chat

The Horrifying Truth Of The McCormick Residence

Craig: dude, kenny is flirting with butters and butters just punched him in the face

Tweek: sorry but why is butters doing a full 360 isn't he supposed to be all innocent and cute

Clyde: judging by craig's fatal injuries and the 5 dead kids we lost due to the shooting, butters has gone full on professor chaos

Jimmy: man, fuck professor chaos that shits corny

Craig: what? i love professor chaos, he almost murdered me

Tolkien: why the hell is kenny flirting with butters

Craig: i don't know

Clyde: it's kenny, he's a whore and we shouldn't be surprised

Jimmy: he sucked mr mackeys dick one time right?

Tweek: no he sucked our gym teachers dick when we were in 7th grade. then the man was arrested for being a pedophile

Tolkien: he had it coming tho

Craig: yeah it was coming alright

Tolkien: i'm gonna touch u

Tweek: hey that's MY kitten not urs

Craig: hold on no it's the other way around u dumb fuck

Tweek: what do you mean, you're my kitten... and i protect you

Craig: no no fuck, it doesn't go that way it can't please please

Clyde: craig's having a conniption rn

Craig: so help me god plsease

Jimmy: okay but backtrack.. what the hells up with kenny being a whore for butters

Tweek: it's kenny he will be a whore for anyone

Clyde: yeah even our 7th grade gym teacher

Tweek: he didn't even get a better grade either that shit was still an F

Craig: you're telling me kenny tried to suck our gym teachers dick with thrush all over it and didn't even get a C

Tolkien: i mean.. he got a d...

Clyde: is this tolkien trying to make an attempt at a dirty joke

Craig: tolkien, it's weird coming out of your mouth

Jimmy: try and make it come out of ur ass next, i mean that's where the watermelon lubes supposed to go anyway

Tolkien: sorry i thought we left that subject alone a long time ago

Craig: sorry there's just some subjects that we need to stick to, like bebes minty cookie dough tampons

Tweek: why do u have such an obsession with bebe and her cookie tampons

Craig: ah-tah

Clyde: i think it's because he secretly wants to try some out for himself

Craig: yeah but i'm dryer than a spoonful of cinnamon in someone's mouth

Jimmy: uhh

Clyde: craig you should've just went with the traditional sahara desert line

Craig: i know but i wanted to try and be different

Tweek: don't, join the hivemind

Tolkien: i say neither of those

Jimmy: well good for u nobody cares

Clyde: fr literally nobody even gives a shit

Tolkien: okay well jesus christ u guys

Craig: guys, i just had an insane flashback to 5th grade.