Blooming red | s.jy

14. Growing hatred

Aera's pov

A week , a long damn week since he left us here all alone....

Since he left me behind.....

I cant help but curse him every time a thought about him crosses my mind. I cry whenever i think about our memories , those once beautiful memories that make it hard for me to breath , that want me to choke myself , those memories sting , those memories make me go insane knowing that i was the only one loving him when he picked me up when i fell down and got tired . It f***ing hurts knowing that he just pitied me and saw me only as a best friend.

I felt embarrassed, i confessed to him out loud infront of everyone, everyone knew i liked him but his gaze , no wonder it was filled with guilt and remorse turned blank , his eyes hollow making me unable to read him.....

The jake i know isnt  like this , he's sweet , he's childish , he's scared of hurting people , he takes care of everyone , he loves his mother so damn much and misses his father and has a big heart and gave his full attention to me....

But the jake i saw a few days ago wanted to avenge his friend, his gaze cold burning with rage and his voice filled with hatred and anger .

He used guns?

He fought?

He met people that were not even from this society?

Just what exactly was he doing that he never cared to tell me .....

He said he cared about me .......

He said he will protect me .....

But he said ... he doesnt love me .....

"Unbelievable" i mutter as i hug my knees closer and shove my hair out of my face. " you're so pathetic to think , he will love you back and wont leave you when he just pitied you...... just like the others" i chuckle as tears once again stream down my face.

The evening wind blows softly but this time it carries no peace in it , it doesnt relax me but better than staying in that house ,the town silent , the fields empty with no kids playing around.

The town was struck with sorrow and fear as if they too will lose their loved ones. I cant stay in that house for long , a place where jake and i made endless memories, our rooms filled with pictures since we were kids and gifts and all that stuff kept .

Well guess what.... I couldn't bare the sight of them anymore that i shoved them into a box and in the attic.

I stopped visiting the boys knowing they knew everything yet they didn't tell me. Just why does everyone like to keep secrets from me ....

"Am i not enough?"

"Or maybe i was just destined to be alone..."

I dont realize someone comes and sits beside me. " i guess you dont even wanna see my face huh?" I flinch at the voice but calm down when i see that it's Sunghoon. I roll my eyes and ask "what do you want" .

He puts a hand over his chest acting as if that hurt. "Ouch, cant you be a little less harsh" he gives me puppy eyes as i make an annoyed face and get up to leave but he holds my wrist making me sit again .

"Ok ok im sorry i wont annoy you but at least listen to me once" he pleads and wanting to argue i open my mouth to speak "please" he says hoping i would give in and i do as i sigh and look ahead waiting for him to speak.