And if I stare too long I'd probably break down and cry / Duff McKagan x OC

No more visiting the fish :(

A/N: I'm currently cringing over this but nvm, I hope in the future more people will read this

TW: mention of domestic violence, alcohol abuse, smoking, death

For a few seconds I just felt nothing, there was pure darkness. It didn't took long for me to get conscious again but after a short time, probably a half minute, I got my senses back even though my sight was very blurred.

I heard some yells and it felt like I was carried by someone. „Place her over here", I heard a voice a voice I could identify as Axl's. My vision finally got halfway clear. I looked up and I saw Duff carrying me in bridal style. I felt kinda small in his arms, he was rather thin and tall than muscular but he sure had some strength even though I hadn't noticed until now.

He got to his knees, carefully placing me on a towel that someone laid there. He looked at me and noticed that I had opened my eyes. „Damn, are you okay?" he asked. I couldn't respond I just muffled something. He nodded „Okay take your time then, save your energy." I hadn't noticed how attractive he actually was until now.

His dyed blonde hair with some brown hairs already growing out and his extremely handsome face. It was crazy.

„Danielle, are you okay?" I saw Steven bowing over me hand waving his hand in front of my face. „Shut up, just give her some time." Duff said. „Nah, I think I'm okay again. Thanks, Duff. Sorry if I made you worry." I tried to sit up. „Shh, slowly, give it some time." Duff whispered and tried to secure me a bit, wanting to make sure I won't pass out again. It kind of left my with a strange feeling in my stomach.

„Ok, what the hell just happened?", Izzy asked. I just wanted to explain a bit but Maria cut me off: „She probably didn't ate again. This already happened a few times, no need to worry." „WHAT?", Axl shouted out and everyone turned to Maria and then to me. I felt like shit, I hated beding the center of attention in most situations.

„Maria, you knew?" Amanda confronted her, while everyone began to shout some things at Maria. My eyes began to water and I bit my lip. This is not how I wanted this day to turn out. I hated talking about this and after it happened the first time I actually told Maria to not tell it anyone.

I got up and struggled a bit at first but eventually managed grab my shirt and run away. Probably no one would even notice since all of them were still busy confronting Maria. I ran through the sand in the direction of one of the bars that were on the beach. On the side, from where no one of the others could see me, I sat down in the shadows. The sand here was pretty cool and it felt calming.

I put on the shirt, laid my head on my knees and wrapped my arms around my legs. It had been some time since I cried this hard. It felt like everything bad that happened in my life had build up slowly behind a wall and this wall collapsed now. I've been sitting there for five minutes just crying.

„Hey". I looked up. It was Duff. „Hey", I wiped over my face two times and tried to crack a smile. „Are you also here to overthink your life?" I asked trying to not make it seem as bad as it actually was. He walked over and sat next to me. „I'm not gonna ask if you're okay since I think we both now you're not. But if you wanna talk, I'm here."  he smiled at me.

„I mean, I'd sure want to talk but there's so much, I don't know where to start." I mumbled looking at me feet. „It doesn't matter, we have time. The others are still having drama, they probably wouldn't even notice we're gone."

„But I don't wanna, you know, be a burden to you. I don't wanna tell you all this stuff, only for you to say: ,I understand'. That would be a lie and it already happened too many times." my eyes started to tear up again and I wiped over my eyes again.

„Shh, don't worry. You'll never be a burden to me. I might not understand how you feel but I understand that you need to talk about it. I'm not gonna force you to tell me anything but sooner or later you should talk about it, not because someone forces you, because you want it for yourself."

„You sure you wanna hear that?", I asked.

„Yeah, if you want to tell me."

„Okay, well. Where do I start?" I sighed collecting the thoughts in my head.

„Well as you see I was born someday...

My dad was an architect and my mother used to stay at home and take care of me and my brother, who was three years younger than me. When I was eight my dad didn't get jobs anymore. My mom had to work now, she worked as maid, waitress and in other mini jobs. At this time my dad would start to drink, he started off with beer and then began to drink stuff like Vodka or Gin. He became more aggressive and someday eventually started to hit us.

One day we ran out of money and he forced my mom become a prostitute, she hesitated but some day she had no choice. During that time he even attacked us with a knife, that's why I have those scars. My brother was too young to understand it but my mental health would get worse and I eventually became depressed. The day before my eighteenth birthday my mom and dad got into a big fight, I started, by asking my mom if we could bake a cake together.

That night dad killed my mom and when my brother tried to attack him, he stood no chance and died two days later because of his injuries. I called the police and my father got arrested. I moved to LA and here I am. The year I got here I developed an eating disorder and as you heard this wasn't the first time I've passed out. Actually I told her not to tell anyone, that's why Amanda didn't knew, but seemingly she didn't took it that serious with promises." I said in bitter frustration, Ididn't realize I started to cry, I wiped my eyes again and looked at Duff.

In his eyes I could see worry, a bit of anger and empathy. For a half minute he didn't say anything. The tears were still running down my face and I used my shirt in order to dry them. „Can I just give you a hug. I feel like you need it now." I looked at him in surprise but then nodded slowly. It had been some time since I've been hugged like this and it felt good. It was really comforting and I felt like I never ever wanted to let go of him.

Still hugging me he murmured: „Damn, that's so messed up. I'm glad you told me." he pulled away and put his hands on both of my shoulders looking deep into my eyes. „Please promise me that if you ever feel the need to talk just tell me. I don't want you to go through this alone anymore." I nodded „I Promise".

„Just tell me if you're ready to go back to the others. Then we'll go back and get you something to eat" he placed a hand on my chin and wiped the tears from my cheeks. „Thank you, Duff. You don't know how much it took me to talk about this but thank you for listening to me." „Sure,you're welcome." he smiled.

„Okay let's go back then." I said. He stood up and reached out his hand, which I thankfully grabbed and he helped me get up.