Someone You Knew-After Stellarlune

Shame

Hello, I'm back!

It's been a while since I have last updated and I am sooo sorry for the delay. I've been quite busy due to school (It's test week, please save me) so thank you sooo much for being patient!

Here's your chapter!

Tam POV

I stumbled into the huge Foxfire Cafeteria. The cafeteria was huge, built to fit all the prodigies of the academy. However, with everyone's gaze on me, the room suddenly felt too small.

Their gaze on me was like needles on my skin, poking it painfully. I had gotten used to being stared at in public. Being a boy who was once banished and being sworn fealty to the Black Swan, everyone stared at me wherever I went.

Most of the time I didn't care. I hid behind my bangs, or the shadow, ignoring the weird stares the elves gave me. The reason I could be so careless was because I knew that I had done nothing wrong to deserve this unwanted attention. It wasn't my fault that I was born as a twin, wasn't my fault that the Council was stupid enough to banish me and my sister, and it wasn't my fault that I was a creepy shade.

But this time, it was my fault.

I had failed to be a good friend to Sophie Foster, and that's just putting it mildly. Confusion and my lack of trust had made me betray her, abandon her when she needed her friends the most, broke her into pieces that can never be fully glued back together again.

And the people staring at me know that.

How could I have been so stupid?

Sighing, I sat down at my table. Everyone was already there, even Keefe. He usually missed lunch because he always got detention. However, right now, Keefe was sitting down on the farthest corner of the table, his eyes blood-shot.

He hadn't pulled a prank, made a joke, or complimented himself since Sophie's death. Everyone is worried about his sanity at this point, even me. It's relieving to not hear his nasty comments about my hair, but right now I would rather have him teasing me. This just isn't Keefe.

The rest of us are no better. Fitz is angry with grief, angry at himself for not trusting Sophie. His knuckles were bruised, meaning that he took out his anger on a poor tree again.

But anger is better than writhing in sadness. Dex hadn't spoken a word since Sophie's wandlering. He's probably punishing himself for not standing up for his best friend. Dex's usual gleeful self was gone, replaced by a depressed boy who never showed his dimples anymore.

Linh is the one I am the most worried about. Although she isn't broken with grief as much as the others, I know that she feels guilty. Linh hates it when she hurts others' feelings, and I know that more than anyone else. Her eyes are always swollen these days, proving to me that she cried.

The other two in the table, including Marella and Maruca are somewhat better. They've never been as close to Sophie as we were, so their grief isn't as strong. But that doesn't mean the girls are fine. Marella's hair isn't braided anymore these days and Maruca hasn't worn any make-up since Sophie's funeral.

My eyes flicker towards Biana. She was poking at her food, her gaze somewhere far. I don't know what she's thinking about, but I do know that her eyes had stopped becoming blood-shot a few days ago. Instead of looking broken and swallowed by grief, her expression was strong and determined.

And me?

I'm terribly ashamed of myself. I can't allow myself to feel normal when I know that I betrayed a friend. Not any friend, but the first one to not judge me about my ability or my status. She was the first friend I made after my banishment.