Can We Be Fixed?

Chapter 14- Dreamless Sleep

I woke up at around 7:00 feeling much better and less sleep deprived then the day before, I did have a lot of pain in my ribs though, 

I doubled over on the floor in pain as I tried getting up, I grabbed the painkillers and swallowed one dry

I couldn't risk being seen weak, although I loved Layla and wanted to trust her, trust just wasn't something I was could do 

I waited until the stabs of pain became dull throbs before getting off the floor and taking my time to go to the bathroom and looked in the mirror

I saw a sad, skinny, weak looking girl who eyes were dull and empty like every last drop of happiness had been taken away until she had no emotions left, 

I could see no emotions behind those eyes, as if she was had a screen behind those eyes hiding what she feels

I looked like I had gotten in a car crash my face was bruised and I still had a busted lip, Tom thought it was funny to force himself on me and bite my lip until it split open again I probably needed stitches for my lip but that was the least of my worries

I lifted up my pants and looked at the words carved into my thigh, I WILL FOLLOW THE RULES

Tears poured down my cheeks again as I gently traced over the ruined skin, I could feel a big dip between the cut skin and the normal skin, I could basically put my nail in the skin,

I shoved down the raised pants and washed my face to get rid of the evidence of my crying and made my way down the stairs and into the kitchen where Layla was cooking

I sat down and she served me a big bowl of rice and beans, I smiled at her but as soon as she turned around my face fell, I couldn't eat this I was going to vomit I had eaten too much already and now that I looked at the food I could hear Tom in my mind

"You can only eat when I say so"

I pushed the bowl away and walked back to my room, I laid under my covers and stayed there until I heard Layla knock at the door,

When I didn't answer she walked in anyway, "Talia I understand this is all difficult for you but you can't not eat, you are already skinny as it is"

She handed me the bowl, "Eat as much as you want, it can be a spoonful, one bean I don't care I just don't want you avoiding food, please trust me its an awful thing to go through, and I won't sit and watch anyone go through the same thing I did"

I looked down at the covers remembering eye contact wasn't allowed "Uhm... can... can I please eat.."

"Talia you don't need to ask permission okay"

I nodded because she never asked me to speak

She then leaned over and hugged me, I flinch before realizing she wasn't going to hit me and let her hug me

She then grabbed the remote on my table and turned on the tv, "What movie are we going to watch" she asked 

I let her choose pretending I didn't know and she picked Gilmore Girls

I fell asleep on her shoulder as she gently played with my hair none of us actually watched the episode.

I whispered to her before my eyes closed "Thank you for everything, your like the older sibling I have always wanted but never had"

"You have me now Tay (her new nickname lol) And I'm not going anywhere"

I closed by eyes and let myself sleep without the pills for once