What I Meant

Entry no. 54: Denouement

A.N. PREPARE FOR THE FLOW OF FEELS

I had just finished packing for college. We were going to drive up to Stanford.

I walked out to our driveway, stacking the boxes on top on each other. My mother was crying. Maybe it was because I chose not to go to Yale, maybe it was because I was finally growing up. My dad cracked a smile. It was enough for me, because my father never smiled. And my annoying 14-year old brother? Yeah, he cried.

The blue prius hybrid pulled into the driveway and parked. The person I loved with my whole heart stepped out of the car. You helped put my boxes into the trunk.

We then got into the car, and waved goodbye to my family. You kissed my cheek and gave me the Stanford sweatshirt.

We were twinning!

I had never really felt that way before. A rush of excitement and happiness filled my stomach. You gripped the steering wheel and my hand, making all the butterflies fly away.

I opened the window, and felt droplets of rain touch my arm. I seemed to be drifting off into space, thinking about how we all started. I could almost remember that day perfectly.

Right after you said you liked me, I tried to search your eyes for hints of a prank.

Instead, I found hazel and forest green swirls of emotion.

"What?" I asked, still searching your eyes.

" I really like you, I've always liked you, I'll never stop liking you." you rasped out.

"Friend-wise?"

"Nope."

"So...what now?"

"Um...well...would you like to go out with me sometime?"you asked, your face tinted pink.

"No."I answered getting into my car. I drove off into the distance. Dramatic...I know.

Haha rejection. I rejected you again. Did I feel bad? Yeah. Did you deserve it. I think you did.

Later that day I found you, on the levy. You were sitting on the broken shells, as waves came ashore. You're face looked so depressing.

"Yes!" I called out. I decided that I tortured you enough.

You were probably shocked because you jumped up as soon as the words flew out of my mouth.

"Mind I I sit down?"I asked, a little scared of rejection.

"Uh...uh yeah...sure." you said. Were you crying?

"So...."

"So......"

"So you would go out with me?" You asked,
Turning to face me.

"Yeah." You smiled. "but..."

"Yes...but?"

"Tell me everything."

And so you did.

Turned out you still liked me, you never stopped, you tried to get closer, Raina threatened you not too, you then tried to get over me, and it didn't work.

Things like these only happen in movies and I was sure as hell I didn't live inside a movie.

"Why did she threaten you?" I asked.

"She didn't want you to get hurt."you said.

"But she loves you! She tried to sabotage us because I love you!"shit...I used the L word.

"Uh...um I'm gonna walk away now." I said, burying my head in my hands.

"Guess what?" You asked, softly gripping
my shoulders to make me face you.

"What?"

"I love you too."

.
.
.

The next day, I asked Raina to meet me at Pinkberry.

"Hey!" Raina exclaimed.

"We need to talk."

Her face twisted into confusion.
"About...?"

"Why'd you threaten him?"

"Who?"

"You know who."

"I...didn't want you to get hurt...like how I got hurt." she explains.

"But you knew he liked me."

"No I didn't. One day, he asked me if you were seeing anyone and if not, If you liked him. At the time, you hated him, or you made everyone else believe that you hated him." She took a breath in between.

"I'm sorry. I knew he was looking at any girl, and I didn't want you to get hurt and I just didn't want him to play you because you're my close friend, almost like a sister and you know sisters before mis-"

I cut off her rambling with a hug.

I probably looked really creepy. Somehow, my gaze shifted from the road to your face.

"What?" you asked.

"Nothing." I smiled.

"You're thinking about something." you stated.

"Just us."

"I love you." you suddenly said.

"I love you too." I said. I meant it.

That's what a truly meant,

I love you too.