All or Nothing (August Alsina FF)

Chapter 49 (Bonus)

My mom said I just needed time. That we just needed a fresh start so without much warning and without even getting to say any proper goodbyes we up and moved. My mom said it would make things better and I foolishly believed her. She also said that it would be best not to talk about it, so we didn't. She hid all his picture away, somewhere I couldn't find them. We rarely talked about him and definitely didn't talk about what happened that day.

My mom was strong, but I wasn't. She didn't have to go through what I did that day. She showed up once the damage was already done. I had no physical scars from that day but I had more than enough emotional ones.

Only person who knew the whole truth other than my mom was Julianna. I was naïve enough to tell someone who I thought was my friend and instead of keeping it to themselves they told others. The first year I moved here people thought that I was crazy.

Crazy.

You could call me anything you wanted, a bitch, slut, whore, whatever, I didn't care. One thing I hated being called was crazy. Between the nightmares and the flashbacks and all of my other problems I knew deep down that maybe I was crazy.

Looking down at one of the only pictures of my dad I kept hidden away in my memory box letting the tears fall.

It was five years to the day that he died. If he was still alive he would have been 47. I sat there thinking about all the stuff he's missed out on in my life. All my birthdays, prom, graduation. He was supposed to be here for it all, to watch me grow.

Now all I had left of him were pictures and memories. But on this day all the bad ones outweighed the good.

To this day I was still being affected by what happened to me that day. Looking at me from the outside you couldn't tell that I was damaged but I was. It was in the way I acted and that's never been more evident with the way I acted towards August while we were dating.

Instead of being able to confide in him about my past, I lied to him. I hid things and I couldn't help but feel like if I was just honest with him that maybe we would still be together. Instead I refused to let him all the way in and in ended up pushing him away. I couldn't even blame him for cheating on me, for putting up with me as long as he did.

I wanted to just be normal, I wanted to be okay. I don't care what my mom said, I tried to do things her way and now I was going to do things my way. Instead of sweeping it under the rug like I've been doing for the past five years, I was ready to talk.

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Getting off the elevator I took a deep breath and willed myself forward to the receptionists desk. I walked up to it and the women sitting behind the desk looked up at me and smiled.

"Hi....I have an appointment with Meredith Baxter," I told her and she smiled and nodded typing away on her computer.

"Name?"

"Kashmere Davis."

"Yes," she nodded, "Just have a seat and she should be right out with you."

I nodded glad that I faxed over all my paper work earlier this week at the school library. I walked over to the empty waiting area and sat down. I sat down looking around butterflies in my stomach from me being so nervous. I pulled out my phone and put it on silent and sat playing piano tiles on my phone trying to calm down some of my nerves. 5 short minutes later a black women stepped in the lobby dressed in business casual attire, Meredith Baxter.

"Kashmere?"

I nodded and stood up from my seat walking the short distance to greet her.

"Nice to meet you," I smiled shaking her outstretched hand.