Tiny captain

7

*Trigger warning: flashbacks, trauma, s.a./r@p3, sexualizing swear words (bi*ch/sl*t etc)

"I wanna tell you, but it's heavy stuff and... I'm scared I will slip again" revealed the younger, taking in a shaky breath.

"You can take it slow Joong. No rush" hummed Seonghwa making Hongjoong lean onto his chest and hugging him.

"Thanks. Well, uhm... I mainly get into my headspace when something triggers me. In a negative way" Seonghwa felt the younger take a sharp breath and shudder, making the oldest hug him a little tighter.

"I was only 10 when it happened. My parents were watching Bumjoong play football, the football field he was playing on was about 30 minutes away from our home. It was quite late so I had to stay with a babysitter who would ensure that I went to sleep at a decent time. But he..." Hongjoong's breathing started to speed up and Seonghwa didn't really know what to do.

"He told me to wait on my bed so I did but- but he tied my hands behind my back with his belt and tied a cloth around my mouth so I couldn't speak. Or, as I later learned, scream for help" Seonghwa was horrified, already knowing where this was going. Suddenly Hongjoong started crying and Seonghwa immediately pulled him onto his laps and started swaying him from side to side trying to calm him down, whispering sweet nothings in the younger's ear. After about ten minutes the leader was calm again, though his eyes were still watery.

"You don't have to continue if it's too much for you" assured Seonghwa in a concerned tone.

"No, I want you to know the full story because I trust you. I never really told anyone before. I never had the chance to" spoke Hongjoong bitterly. Seonghwa just nodded and waited for the younger to continue his story.

"He made me look at him the whole time. Watch the horrible things he was doing to my body. He started spanking me. A lot. Then... it got worse. I had to watch him play with my... uhm..." Hongjoong looked down at his private parts hoping Seonghwa would get the hint. Luckily the older did, and nodded humming to let Hongjoong continue.

"And after that he actually penetrated me. It hurt, a lot, and at that time I couldn't understand why. He kept calling me names, like slut, sex slave and useless bitch" Hongjoong shuddered at the memory, pressing himself closer to Seonghwa who just hugged him as tightly as possible.

"Then he untied me, I was crying and shaking and he told me to dress myself again and go to bed. I was shaking so much I couldn't physically stand up to grab some new clothes so he threw them at my face. Luckily it was only a pyjama, it didn't hurt me. He told me to wear it and once I did, he called my parents. He said something came up and he had to leave but I was sleeping soundly so they didn't have to worry about me. They let him leave and when they returned, I was indeed sleeping, but I had cried myself to sleep" Seonghwa didn't know what to say. He couldn't believe the younger suffered all this, no one deserved it. Absolutely no one. Especially at that young age.

"The following morning, our parents left for a business trip, intended to last a few days. Their trip was in a place at about an hour and a half from home, and Bumjoong was already 18, so they thought he could be the one to take care of me. After having some breakfast he told me about the football match he played, and I was so happy for him until he decided to ask me what did I do with the babysitter while he wasn't there. That caused flashbacks to replay into my mind, it was horrible. I had about five panick attacks in a row, unable to snap out of it. Bumjoong didn't know what to do. When I finally calmed down, I started acting like a kid would. It was my first time regressing, and it was confusing for me even more than it was for him. But he accepted me. He understood that something had happened that night but didn't ask me anything in fear of triggering me again. He started caring for me. During those days when my parents were away, he treated me like he would treat a child. Apparently he had done some research about it, and being able to label whatever was happening to me helped me a lot. Not liking it, I could never like regressing due to the circumstances, but I started accepting it. Bumjoong was so caring towards me, it made me feel safe. He bought me lots of candy and we had a pyjama party that evening, we went to the park together often and one time he even brought me to a zoo" Hongjoong smiled at the memories he had with his older brother.

"And... what happened when your parents came back?" Seonghwa was scared to ask, and knew he asked the wrong question when the younger's face darkened.

"They hated me" spat out Hongjoong bitterly.

AUTHOR'S NOTE

phew this was a lot. hope everyone is safe :( please vote and comment 💙 it helps a lot

probably gonna post the next chapter rn as it's the continuation of Joong's story <3

love you all, see you in the next one!

~Nabi