Tiny captain

8

"When they came back, I still wasn't able to snap out of my headspace and that infuriated them. They didn't even listen to Bumjoong trying to calmly explain the situation. He had to shout it in front of their fucking faces for them to listen. And even when they did, they didn't believe him. They said I was faking it for attention and he shouldn't bother worrying about me. But he continued doing so and Bumjoong and I moved out. Turns out my brother had enough money to rent a flat. We discussed it for days, he warned me that we wouldn't have any of the comforts or even basic needs we had while living with our parents, but I didn't care. I just wanted to leave that hell I could no longer call home. The place we lived in was in no way big or luxurious, or filled with furniture, hell we barely had two beds. We had a bedroom and a bathroom, that was it. Bumjoong worked all day at a café which didn't pay well, and I was home alone most of the time. Eating in convenience stores every day, we had to skip at least one meal a day to save money and when we ate, it was never enough. But being the blessing he was, Bumjoong sometimes did buy me gifts. Once he brought home a small cupcake for my 11th birthday and I couldn't have been more happy. It's the small things that matter, as people like to say" recalled Hongjoong with a nostalgic smile.

"Then after a few years I got noticed by a KQ talent scout and that's how I ended up here. They offered me meals and a place to sleep in, and I couldn't let the opportunity pass. Every evening, coming home, I had a warm meal for Bumjoong offered by the company. And once we debuted and I was able to save up some money of my own, I bought a small house for him. He still lives there now. We both have our lives now, luckily not with our parents in them" finished Hongjoong making Seonghwa gasp.

"Hongjoong, you're so brave and strong for telling me all this, you know? I'm glad you trusted me with this and I promise I will do my best to keep you safe" promised the oldest, making Hongjoong nod.

"So when do you regress, if I can ask?" Seonghwa asked cautiously. He didn't want to accidentally make the younger relive his past trauma.

"Uhm... as I said, when I feel unsafe mainly. So probably with any action that that babysitter did to me that night. Spankings, tying me up, degrading names, that kind of things" explained Hongjoong. Seonghwa nodded.

"I will be extra careful" promised the older.

"Can I ask you one more thing though?" asked Seonghwa. Hongjoong nodded and let the oldest continue.

"Some days ago you slipped when I brought you dinner at the studio, why was that?" Hongjoong blushed as he remembered it.

"Uhh... well I felt safe with you. You acted all motherly and you reminded me of Bumjoong. I felt safe with him and I felt safe with you too. Sorry if it made you uncomfortable" apologized the leader, making Seonghwa frown.

"It wasn't uncomfortable. Sure, I wasn't used to it, but it was honestly quite endearing and in that moment... I felt like I wanted to protect you from everyone and everything" Hongjoong blushed madly at the older's confession, making Seonghwa laugh.

"You're crazy" muttered the younger, but Seonghwa just shook his head fondly.

"And you're cute" Seonghwa giggled when Hongjoong buried his face in his pillow groaning.

"Come on, what would you like to do now?" asked Seonghwa, making Hongjoong look at the time before thinking for a moment.

"I wanna tell the others... maybe... no... nevermind" Hongjoong's voice lowered with every word, tone mirroring his thoughts as the leader realized the thought he had just blurted out was a bad idea.

"We can do it if you want, or we can wait until you feel ready. It's up to you, every part of it Joong, the only one who gets to decide is you and you only" stated firmly Seonghwa, making Hongjoong hug the older as tight as he could.

"What if they don't accept me? We can't afford a scandal and I-" Hongjoong's words were cutted off by a finger on his mouth. Seonghwa shushed the younger and started reassuring him.

"I know where this is going and I won't let you talk bad about yourself. No, you're not a failure. No, you haven't failed as a leader and hyung. No, your regression is not fake and whoever thinks that is a total asshole. No, I won't leave you and we'll find a solution if someone doesn't feel comfortable around you. There's always a solution Joong" Hongjoong was speechless. He was just so grateful to the older. His best friend knew him more than anyone else, always so understanding, motherly, caring, generous, sweet, kind... Hongjoong was about to cry thinking how blessed he was to have Park Seonghwa always by his side.

"I- thanks. I don't know how to tell you that you're so special to me and thank you for everything you do for me everyday" Hongjoong and Seonghwa locked their eyes together. The leader's ones were filled with gratefulness and happiness, while the oldest's ones were full of understanding and care, with a sparkle of protectiveness.

After a minute or so, Seonghwa smiled and broke the eye contact, hugging the younger tightly. He had lost count of how many times he had hugged Hongjoong just that afternoon, and knowing the leader it was probably enough skinship for him to last him five lifetimes, but it was okay.

"No problem. You know I'd do anything for you" said sincerely the older, making Hongjoong nod.

"I don't wanna tell them anymore" whispered the younger, making Seonghwa nod.

"That's okay. We have time" the two laid down on the bed and cuddled closer, just enjoying each other's presence and warmth until they both eventually fell asleep.

AUTHOR'S NOTE

actually i have nothing to say lmao

oh no yes i do: STAN HANNAH BAHNG 📢📢

stay safe, have some water or food, and remember there's always someone ready to listen to you <3

love you all, see you in the next chapter!

~Nabi