𝐇𝐀𝐙𝐁𝐈𝐍 𝐇𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐋 𝐗 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑 || One-shots & Imagines ✓

😇🪽 'Fun Words' (Adam)

Requested by: @eylulaydin14

Pairing: Adam & Child!fem!Reader

Summary: During an extermination, Adam comes across and young imp...one that had been abandoned by her family.

POV: 2nd person

Warnings: Swearing

~•*•~

"The exterminators are here!!" You heard someone yell from a distance.

"Ecks-ter-man-ader?" You echoed, as if you were trying on the word to see how it felt on your tongue. "What's an eckstermanader?

"It's exterminator you little shit!" You heard someone yell from behind you. You turned around and saw a tall angel holding a spear to your face. "And don't you worry you little bitch...I'll show you just what an exterminator really is!"

She charged towards you when suddenly a male angel came in front of you to shield you from the blade.

"Woah! Woah! Slow down there Danger-Tits!" He said.

You tilted your head to the angel shielding you. "What's a bitch?" You asked him.

"Lute what the fuck did you teach her?!" He scolded.

"I um..." She looked down in embarrassment.

"Why did you attack a child?!"

"B-but sir! She's a demon!" Lute protested.

"A cute demon!!"

"Does that even fucking matter?"

You tugged on the angel's robe. "Um...what's a bitch?" You repeated. "Are you a bitch?"

"He sure is..." Lute muttered under her breath.

"Um...a bitch is like...a mean person..." He explained.

"Ohhhhh! My parents are bitches then!" You replied.

Lute stifled in a laugh. The other angel glared at her before turning back to you. "Why's that little one?" He asked.

"Because they left me here with only this box, see?" You explained, pointing to a nearby cardboard box.

His face crinkled in confusion. "They left you?" He asked.

You nodded.

"What's your name, kiddo?"

"I'm Y/N."

He smiled, "Y/N, I'm Adam...and this is Danger-Tits!" He said, motioning towards Lute.

"Hi Adam! Hi Danger-Tits!" You said, waving to both of them.

Adam stifled in a laugh.

"Fuck you sir..." Danger-Tits grumbled, her grip still tight on the spear.

Adam smiled at me. "Give us one second, Y/N...me and Ms. Tits have to have a small talk."

"Okay!" You replied.

"Lute! Can we take her in? Pleaseeeeeeeee????" Adam begged.

"No! She's a fucking demon sir! A demon! Do I have to spell it out for you??"

"Her parents left her though! She's got no one else but us!"

"There is no us in this one sir. Do you have any idea what would happen if Sera or the cherubs found out that you--"

"Too late! I'm adopting the little fuckhead!" Adam said, flipping Lute off.

Seeing his little gesture, you imitated it with your own fingers.

"D-don't do that..." Adam said.

"Ugh! FINE!" Lute growled, finally dropping her spear.

"Y/N, would you like to come with us to Heaven?" Adam asked, crouching down to you.

"What is Heaven?" You gasped, "is it another bitch?" You asked.

Lute rolled her eyes, but Adam just chuckled. "No my dear, it's a wonderful place, with wonderful people and there's a lot less commotion up there than it there is down here..." He said, motioning towards all of the chaos as demons were chased by exterminators.

"That sounds nice!" You said thoughtfully, clapping your hands together.

Adam's expression softened. "Come on Y/N, we can't wait to show you around!" Adam held his hand out to you.

Taking it, he lifted you up on his shoulders and flew you up, up, up, into the clouds. Into a better life...in Heaven!!

~•*•~

You arrived in front of a set of golden gates, perched on a blanket of clouds.

"What's this?" You asked.

"These, Y/N...are the Pearly Gates," Adam replied, making a grand gesture to the structure.

"Sir!" Danger-Tits tugged on Adam's robe. "She can't go into Heaven looking like that!"

You frowned. "Is there something wrong with my face?" You asked, suddenly becoming very self-conscious.

Adam glared at Lute. "No Y/N, there's nothing wrong with you...there's something wrong with Danger-Tits' face! She's just jealous that she's not as cute as you," Adam said, pinching your cheeks. You giggled.

Lute rolled her eyes. "At least give her a mask!"

"Oh, alright, fine." Adam flicked his wrist and a small exterminator mask appeared in his hands. He handed it to you. "Put this on, Y/N...we're technically not supposed to have demons up here...but don't worry, Ms. Danger-Tits and I will protect you! Right?" He nudged Lute.

"Fine."

You slipped on the mask and Adam smiled. "Aw look at her! So cute with her little--"

"Sir, focus!!" Lute scolded.

"Ugh you're no fun," he said rolling his eyes.

"Let's go meet these bitches!" You exclaimed, thrusting your fist in the air.

Adam chuckled. "See Lute? I'm already a great parent!" He said with satisfaction.

"Oh, yes...I'm so glad you're teaching her all these...fun words," Lute said, rolling her eyes.