CARINA

41: BABY STEPS

Mackenzie's POV

     DANTE walked in as soon as I finished breastfeeding the twins. He set the food he had in his hand on the bed and waited for me to put Marco in his crib. Dario was always asleep and barely cries but Marco was a different story

"You look tired Kenzie. You should eat and sleep. I'll take care of the twins"

"I can handle this Dante" I said knowing very well I was lying. I was drained from all my energy. I barely sleep and it wasn't because of the twins but the nightmares.

When we came home two months ago, Dante wanted me to sleep in his room but I refused. I told him I'd sleep in my old room with the twins and sometimes I regretted my decision but I didn't want to make ourselves uncomfortable. I didn't want him to do anything that was hard for him just because we have children together

"I'm not saying you can't, I just need you to rest. You having nightmares worries me too so I'll be here and you can have a little nap"

How did he even know I have nightmares?

"Dante, you don't have to do all this. Besides I have to get used to sleeping alone. I'll be moving out soon after our divorce"

"Kenzie, you have the right to punish me in ways you deem fit. You can ask me to get you whatever you want and I'll do that. You can tell me to stay several feet away from you three while you live here and I would. Hell! I'd even live the rest of my life trying to make it up to you if you want, but I won't be separated from you anymore. I can give you anything but not a divorce"

"Dante..."

"You should eat first and I'll sit right here" he said and sat on the sofa as he watched me eat. Things might have changed between us but the taste of his food hadn't. It tasted as divine as ever

~*~*~*~*~*~
7 MONTHS LATER

     "YOU want to forgive him?" She asked and I nodded "Why suddenly? What caused the change"

"I have been able to forgive everyone but he's the only person I couldn't bring myself to forgive completely" I explained and she nodded continuously before looking at me

"So you're saying you want to forgive him just because you've been able to forgive the others?" She asked and I nodded "Mackenzie, that is not how forgiveness works. Why do you think you have forgiven everyone but not him?"

"Because..." I have thought about this too. Several times and the answer was right in front of me but I didn't want to accept it "...I expected him to trust me the most. I expected too much and when I didn't get it from him, it hurt me deeply"

"It's normal to expect more from the one you love, Kenzie"

"Love? I don't..."

"Don't deny what you feel for Dante. I told you accepting your feelings is a good thing. You get a peace of mind and I know you can testify to that after our many sessions" Mrs Champ said

"Yes I know. I still love him" I whispered to myself but I knew she heard it when she chuckled

"Didn't that feel good?" She asked and I agreed "Don't push yourself to forgive anyone. Do that when you have fully healed and accepted their apologies. If you just say it without fully meaning it, then in the future, you both would just suffer the consequences because you still bear a grudge for the past mistakes he made. I told you communicating would also be best so how's that going for you both? What do you think after talking to him"