Two of a Kind

33

Kamryn

Last night felt needed. I woke up to the silhouette of Amari's body molding the shape of the blanket on my bed. All due respect, I had to sleep on the floor cause I couldn't put us in a position to fail after all that progress we made.

I knew I was setting myself up for failure from the go by making Amari sit on my lap. I just wanted us to be close, but of course it got me more excited than I expected. When I cried, I calmed down but then she started playing in my hair and I got riled up again. After she let me go, I excused myself to the bathroom so I could get my one. When I was finished, I washed my hands and came out the bathroom to find Amari tucked and sound asleep. I considered going into the bed for one second then I knew instantly that I needed to take my ass somewhere else to sleep. So I did.

Once I stood up and quietly went to the bathroom, I turned on the light then brushed my teeth and washed my face. After that, I took off my durag and hydrated my locs with my spray bottle filled with oils and vitamins. After massaging my scalp, I tied my durag and stood in the mirror for a lil bit to check my skin. Suddenly, I thought of my dream last night and smiled.

I had a wet dream with Amari that was a remix of last night but instead of having conversation we had sex. Even in my dream, I didn't let anything happen on my bed. I was proud of my dream self. We took it to my desk chair and now I want to make it happen in real life. I dreamed she was a squirter and now I'm so curious. However, I know I need to show restraint and prove that I can wait for the cookie.

Amari is worth the wait, but on the low, I been feeling fiendish, so I need to figure something out before I start humping shit like a dog. Matter fact, if she would just go home, I'd have my space back to myself to self-soothe and not have her body constantly remind me of images of her naked body. I hope she not tricking me and staying longer than she has to. My bed not even that nice compared to hers.

•••

I was confident for my midterms not only cause I studied but I was fueled by a gourmet breakfast made by the finest chef in town. Yours truly, Big Papa. On top of that, I got a date with Amari tonight. I'm nervous but I couldn't be happier.

It didn't even ruin my vibe when I went to Calculus and saw Zendaya walk through door. I found myself staring at her cause her hair was in a curly fro, calling for attention, but the moment she looked in my direction, she looked me dead in the eyes and didn't even acknowledge me. On the low, it kinda me uncomfortable but I brushed it off. I let my thoughts about Amari and cute date ideas block out the negativity and took my midterm optimistically. Thankfully, we were allowed to leave once we finished taking the exam. I finished fast enough to turn in my exam and not have to address anyone at all.

I went straight home to change into my fit for tonight. Before I could reach into my sock drawer, I noticed a cookies and cream Hershey's bar with a handwritten note taped on it:

Just a reminder, I think you're so sweet and more than deserving of sweet things xoxo -🖤

I wonder when she could've done this. This is so cute.

Lowkey, it's one of my favorite chocolates and I didn't even have to tell her. I planned to get her something for tonight but now I'm gonna do even more than I planned. Amari keeps making me smile even when she's not around. It's the little things that make me think this could be something real. I feel worthy and undeserving of her at the same time.

Tonight, I want to do things she likes and show her that I'm listening and that I see her like she makes me feel seen, but hopefully she thinks it's nice. If not then it's good that I learned early if what I have to offer is not good enough for her. Like she said, everybody not meant to be in my life.