𝓛𝓾𝓬𝓲𝓵𝓵𝓮 𝓲𝓷 𝓢𝓽𝓪𝓻𝓼 𝓗𝓸𝓵𝓵𝓸𝔀

25. You need to wallow, Lucy

 Later that night, Rory had put all the things that reminded her of Dean away. I had no such things, since I don't think Leo and I had as much of a serious relationship as Rory and Dean.

While Lorelai was busy helping my sister with that, I tossed and turned in my bed. I couldn't go to sleep. I was to busy thinking about why I wasn't crying or being comforted or talking to someone right now.

I felt all alone.

The next morning, I woke up with my blankets thrown off my bed and being suffocated by my pillows.

I groaned and turned onto my back.

The house was quiet so I got up to check what was going on. I walked over the the kitchen table and saw a note.

Running crazy errands with Rory

Meet at Luke's

-Mom

I checked my watch. It was eight in the morning—too early to go do things, but too late to go back to sleep.

So instead, I just made myself a cup of coffee and heated up pop tarts, then headed to the living room.

I blinked my eyes a few times, trying to process the fact that the furniture had been all turned around, but couldn't.

This was exactly what I didn't need on a day when I should be wallowing and giving in to self pity.

I gulped down my coffee and went to get more in the kitchen along with more pop tarts. I put some tater tots in the oven and got out some ice cream.

Then, I went to lie in my bed. And only then did I let a small tear escape from my eyes. Then a flood.

I had thought that when I came to Stars Hollow, I would finally have friends and a family that I could connect with. But I always felt like Rory and Lorelai had a bigger connection than I ever could. And not only that, but I had lost my only friend and my boyfriend.

Why wasn't Lorelai here for me?

In the middle of my hurricane of thoughts, I heard tapping on my window.

I wiped the tears from my eyes and sat up on my bed, only to find the heart breaker right in front of me.

Leo was outside, forcing a small smile when I saw him.

I wanted to scream and fight and tell him to leave. Or just ignore him and forget about this, but I couldn't.

I opened the window. "What do you want?"

"I'm—," he started to say.

"You know what?" I interrupted. "I know what you're going to say. It's the same thing in every single teen movie. 'I'm sorry', 'I shouldn't have done that', 'it was a stupid mistake', 'please give me another chance'!"

"But there's something that happens in those movies that won't happen with us," I continued, starting to cry. "We won't get back together. When you come to my house in the pouring rain, holding flowers or some grand gesture, I won't let you in. I won't forgive you."

"This isn't how my my first break up should have gone. It should've been that we had grown apart. Because I was going to college and we couldn't do long distance." 

"And I know I sound crazy and all the neighbors are looking at us now," I cried, as people stuck their heads out of their windows. "And maybe one day I can slightly forgive you, but that is not today or any time soon. So I would appreciate it if you leave my house and never come back!" I screamed.