All Apologies

Hearing Voices

When they arrive in the town Abi grew up in, the sun is set, and the two boys notice that Abi has gone quiet and is just looking out the window. Taylor turns around from the passenger seat to check on Abi again before he turns back to Dave with a regretful expression. Dave knew what he was thinking, he was thinking that bringing her back here was a terrible idea. Dave gives Taylor a reassuring smile, "It's ok, T."

As they pull into the driveway, Taylor turns to Abi, "We will bring the presents in and come back out to grab you." Abi nods slightly and Taylor signs, turning his head to Dave. Dave smiles at him and gets out of the car, Taylor following. Taylor and Dave grab all the presents and go into the house, calling out for people to help with the armfuls of presents. While the boys head inside with everything, Abi starts to climb out of the car, her eyes locked on her house directly across the street. She can hear Taylor and Dave talking to Taylor's family just inside the house, but they fall into the background as she hears herself screaming. Her scream splits the air like a knife, sounding like she was wailing into her ear. She opens the car door and pulls herself out. A scream comes from the house again, louder, and more painful this time. She walks forward, crossing the street, not paying attention to the road. She hears herself yelling for help, screaming for anyone. She steps onto the front lawn and hears sirens blaring, but her gaze doesn't break from the front door ahead. She tries to hear something other than the sirens, confused about why the sirens are so loud in her ears when there is nothing in sight. Abi attempts to focus on something else, but can no longer hear Taylor and Dave's voices, let alone anything else.

She gets to her front door, breathing heavily. She tugs on the handle, and it creaks open. As she opens the door, her breathing starts to shake even more, and all those noises she couldn't shake blast even louder. She steps inside and is back to the night she found her mother. Her vision blurs and she nearly falls over when she sees her mother on the ground with paramedics everywhere. She slowly creeps forward and sees herself being dragged away from her mother's lifeless body, kicking, and screaming through tears. She hesitates, not knowing if she wants to back up or see her mother's lifeless face again. She decides to see her mother again and walks over, the sirens drowning out slightly and the voices of paramedics and herself screaming come into focus. Abi bends down next to her mother, somehow feeling her body heat, and she struggles to tell how much of this is fake. She hovers her hand over her mother's still chest, her hand shaking. She drops it and it feels like it hits her chest, but the sound is like it hit the floor. She jumps back, scrambling into the wall as the paramedics continue to try and save her mother's life. Abi sits against the front hallway wall, her back facing the front door and her eyes locked on the scene. She drags her knees to her chest and wraps her arms around them. She freezes up and sits there staring, not daring to blink.

Taylor and Dave escape the house 10 minutes later to get Abi, "Abi! Come on kiddo let's get you in..." Taylor starts before he freaks out after seeing the car door wide open. He rushes around the car and notices her empty seat and he begins to panic, ripping his fingers through his hair and repeating her name repeatedly under his breath. "Dave, Abi's not in the car!" He says loud enough for Dave to hear but not his family. Dave turns around from the other side of the car, scanning the whole area. "Taylor," Dave says, stopping and staring at the girl in the house across the street. "What Dave, quit standing around and keep looking!" Taylor says checking under the car and surrounding bushes. Dave grabs the blonde by the shoulders and turns him to face the house. Taylor slows down, "Abi..." he breathes. He runs over to the house with Dave hot on his heels. Once he is past the road he slows to a walk, not wanting to freak Abi out. When he gets to the door, he sees the girl pushed up against the wall with her knees tucked to her chest, and her head down with her hands over her ears. He attempts to make himself known before touching her, but she can't hear him. He turns to Dave for help, but Dave is just as confused as Taylor. This had happened before but never this serious. She would get stuck in a sort of daydream state, or wouldn't wake up from nightmares, but Taylor and Dave's voices normally snapped her straight back. Taylor puts a hand on Abi's shoulder, and she snaps back to reality. Her head lifts from her knees in panic and her eyes take a second to render who Taylor is as she pushes further against the wall. "Abi! Hey, hey, it's me, it's Taylor!" Abi jumps into Taylor's arms as she cries, "I saw her Taylor! I saw everything again!" Taylor rubs her back trying to calm her down, "It's okay Abi, everything is okay now. I'm here, I've got you."

Dave leaves the two to tell the Hawkins they will be off to bed. As he crosses the road he sniffles back tears, he hates seeing Abi like this. He opens the door and walks into the family room, wiping any remaining tears away from his eyes. Taylor hasn't told his parents how Abi has been doing because he knows they could take Abi away and put her into the system. He doesn't want her in the system because it is bad, but he also doesn't want to lose her and never get to see her until she's all grown up. Dave believes he is doing awesome at looking after the kid and wants to respect Taylor's wishes, so he keeps what went down out of the conversation.

Once Dave arrives back at Abi's house across the street, he and Taylor start to put Abi to bed. They follow Abi to her room, and she stops in the doorway. The two stop and exchange a worried glance at each other, Taylor's lips pressed together. Dave and Taylor look down at the girl, still frozen in the doorway. "Abi?" Taylor says, placing his hand on her shoulder. She doesn't respond and Taylor starts to panic again, his eyes begging Dave for help. Dave places his hand on Abi's shoulder, "Are you okay?" He knows she is not okay, but he also knows she needs to know someone cares. She gives a weak nod and takes a shaky breath as she enters the room. Everything is exactly how Taylor and Abi left it when they packed up to leave. Abi's memories of her mother's death still linger in her head, and she can remember all the memories she has had in this room, good and bad. Abi climbs into bed while Dave fixes up a couple of things and Taylor fixes her bed with her in it. Taylor leans over Abi and kisses her forehead, "Goodnight Abi, I love you." She smiles at Taylor and snuggles deeper in her covers as Dave comes over, "Goodnight, B, I love you. We are right next door if you need us." Taylor and Dave leave Abi to sleep and head to bed in Abi's mother's room.

Once the two boys crawl into bed, Taylor turns to Dave with tears in his eyes. "I shouldn't have brought her back D. She was not ready for this," he says while choking on each word. Dave gives Taylor a sympathetic look and turns his whole body to him, "You did what you thought would be okay, you can't blame yourself for anything T." Dave tries to comfort his best friend but can't tell him what he wants to, he knows he can't tell Taylor that Abi is fine. "We are only here for a couple of days before we head back, she will probably be the same the whole time, and that's okay." Taylor shuffles around and takes in everything Dave says. 

Abi creeps into her mother's room when Dave and Tayelor are nearly asleep. She climbs onto the bed and crawls between them, Taylor and Dave lift their heads in slight fear but relaxing when they see Abi. They turn to each other with a confused look before Taylor speaks, "What's up B?" The girl starts to cry and falls into Taylor's arms, and he turns to Dave worried, "Please don't leave me, Taylor!" Abi starts, sobbing into Taylor's chest, "Promise me you won't leave me!" Taylor can't believe how she would ever think he would even think about leaving her, "I promise I will never leave you Abi. I love you, and I always will." The girl turns her head to Dave, sniffling away tears, "Will you leave me?" Dave looks at the girl with the same expression as Taylor had, tears forming in his eyes. "No Abi, I will never leave you."