LOSE MY BREATH

LMB 14

14: Perspectives.

“Minho, how do people court each other here? How do you even do that, when all the ladies are kept separate? Is it all arranged marriages?” Jisung asked one day.

They were somewhere in the back of the mountain, enjoying the cooling days in nature. Everything had taken on a reddish-orange hue, with autumn gradually approaching. Minho predicted that it would pass quickly and give way to the chilly winter months.

They had settled by a stream that appeared to be ideal for fishing. But Minho would not let him; killing animals was expressly prohibited here. Instead, they sat there, Minho on his knees, holding a book, and Jisung stretched out on his side, twirling his newly acquired daegeum.

It was pretty and black, freshly polished with a red tassel at the end. Jisung thought Minho might’ve ordered it with him in mind, judging from the colours.

The question had Minho rigid. “Why does Jisung ask?”

“Curiosity.” Jisung wiggled his eyebrows, which earned him an unimpressed look.

"Other sects do not practise as strict segregation as we do. Within our clan, the sexes see each other during night hunts and while travelling to other sects," Minho said stiffly, as if reciting from a textbook.

“What, a couple sees each other once and then they get married?”

“They will start a formal courting period, during which meetings with a chaperon are possible. After an appropriate time, their families make a binding agreement. Then the wedding date is decided.

“So, can they back out of it during the courting period?” Jisung wrinkled his nose as he considered all of the unsuccessful dates he had gone on, trembling at the idea of being compelled to wed them nonetheless.

“It is uncommon.” Minho said. "However, outside of clan-arranged unions, forced marriages are uncommon."

“Wait, so there are arranged marriages?”

“Mn.”

“Huh!?” His modern sensibilities recoiled, but he had once read in a history textbook that most arranged marriages were fairly happy or the people probably weren’t thinking about it like modern people.

Romance probably came second to survival and social advantages.

“Minho, do men ever get married to each other?” he asked then.

It took a few heartbeats for Minho to answer. "This is not unusual."

"Right, I read about cultivation partners in a book, but I was not sure if the meaning was the same," Jisung replied. “That’s good. More options.”

“Options.” Minho echoed, voice dry.

“Haha, I mean, isn’t it good? That it’s not limited, right? Especially when you have this strange situation where there are no women." Jisung waved the flute in a circle. "You can get to know someone before asking them the question. That is the way things are done in our world.”

“How?” Minho wasn’t looking at him, but Jisung could see he was listening intently, head tilted towards him.

“Well! We start by making small talk to see if the other person is interested. We ask the other person out, then we go on a couple of dates. Date a few months. Maybe move in together with each other if you’re liberal, but older people are still weird about that so often people wait until marriage before they get an apartment together. In the west, it’s not as frowned upon, though.”

“It is a long process,” Said Minho, less judgmental than Jisung guessed.

“Sure! Usually, people date around before they get married. You know, to see what’s out there. To figure out their match,” Jisung explained. “My brother, Jeongin went out with so many girls at one point it was incredible. Like, his standards were insane! I still don’t know if he actually tried to find a match his mother would’ve approved or if he just wasn’t into romance in general.”