LOSE MY BREATH

LMB 20

20: Connection.

“Hyung?” came the sweet voice from the other side of the door not long after.

Jisung stared at the shadows under the door, forehead resting on the wood. His voice was harsh when he replied; “I’m sorry, Sect leader. I’m not your hyung.”

“Second Master Minho explained your situation,” Jeongin said, very gently. “Would Master Han sound better?”

Hyung, where are you? Let me pick you up.

No need, Innie. I don’t think I should come back...

I will pick you up.

“No,” he said. “Hyung is fine. Although--”

“I know. Ah, you see, we lost our hyung in the war a few years ago. He was killed, protecting our home,” he explained. “He and our parents.”

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I’m not him.”

“I know. Please don’t apologise, hyung. You are some other’s hyung, aren’t you?” Jisung, choked up on his tears, could only breathe in raggedly. Jeongin, perceptive as ever, was silent for a while before continuing.

“Did you lose your brother like we lost our hyung?” Jeongin asked, and he sounded just like him, because he was him, and this world had already had a Jisung, and now another Jisung was stealing a moment with Jeongin he did not deserve.

“Hyung?”

“Yes,” Jisung said. Sobbed. “Yeah. he-- Jeongin. Jeongin. I’m so sorry.”

“It is not your fault,” he said, and he was wrong. It was Jisung’s fault. Felix hated him for it, and now he was here too, hugging Jisung like he deserved it.

“It is. It was my fault,” he insisted.

“I don’t believe you,” Jeongin said, and he still sounded very gentle, even when he disagreed with him. “Please open the door, hyung.”

“It was my fault,” Jisung tried again.

“Please,” asked Jeongin.

Jisung could not deny anything from his brother. So he opened the door, and there he was in his pretty robes, looking so full of compassion. He pulled Jisung into his arms without a word, petting his back soothingly.

“There, there,” he mused. “Why don’t we sit down, and you tell me everything?”

The thought had once terrified him; talking about it, talking about any of it. There had been only one person who he could force himself to talk to, and he’d been–

And now Jeongin was pulling him with him to the seats by a window, and Jisung let him. Then he told him everything.

_____________

Later, when Jisung was not on the verge of a mental breakdown, they let Felix and Minho in as well, each more concerned than the others. His brother demonstrated this in his usual, very angry manner, punching him on the shoulder and then yelling at him for not contacting them sooner, despite the fact that Jisung had no idea they existed here.

Minho looked at him with slightly lowered eyebrows and stood very close to him.

“Jisung,” Minho said, which meant are you okay, and maybe also do you want me to kick this angry chicken out of here?

“Minho,” he replied, which meant I’m fine, and the angry chicken can stay.

"Why are you two addressing each other by name?" Felix asked, suspicious. “Aren’t you just sharing a sect while this dumbass waits to get back to his original world?”