You Caught My Attention

08: Alone

Mikha's P.O.V.

I just found out that this will be a three-day, two-night vacation pala. We'll be staying here sa isang suite sa isang resort na pagma-may-ari ni Dad. There are three rooms available, Ian and his father will share a room na malapit sa entrance. Colet and Aiah will share the room adjacent to the other one, and mine will be just across from the kitchen. They insisted na ako na lang ang magroom don since isa lang ang bed, at baka raw maging uncomfortable ako kay Colet dahil maingay siyang roomate.

It was already four in the afternoon when we went down to eat. Lima lang kami na magcecelebrate. Si Ian, Aiah, Tito James, Colet, and I, kaya hindi ko alam kung kakayanin ba naming ubusin itong boodle fight na nasa table. Despite being a non-family member, I don't feel like I am a stranger to them, they treat me like I am of their own.

Aiah and her brother are standing side by side, katabi ko si Colet, and Tito James is sa kabilang side naman. I looked at Aiah, she's goofing around with Ian challenging one another kung sino ang may mas maraming makakain. They both look happy and carefree, I bet they have a very strong bond. I felt sad, knowing I might ruin something as beautiful as what they have if Ian were to found out na kaya ako mag-c-cut ng ties sa kaniya ay dahil I'm developing feelings sa Ate niya. Ever since I had this talk with my Dad before ako sunduin ni Ian papunta sa university ay nagkakaroon na ako ng hope para sa nararamdaman ko.

"Huy baka matunaw, sino ba diyan?" Colet bumped her shoulder to mine.

"What are you talking about?" I laughed covering the fact na nahiya ako kasi I was caught staring.

"Sus patay malisya pa more." She teased, while I just continued eating.

We finished eating an hour later. Ian suggested to walk by the sore for a while para bumaba raw ang kinain namin, Tito declined and told us to go without him. It is past five pm so the sun feels warm on our skin. Sinabayan ako maglakad ni Ian. I felt his palm graze on my hand, he smiled when I looked at him. I then looked behind us and saw that there was quite a distance between us and Aiah and Colet. 

"Oh, bat kayo huminto?" Colet asked nang maabutan nila kami. 

"You go ahead first, may pag-uusapan lang kami ni Ian." I replied. I turned Aiah, she looked at her brother, then back at me to stare blankly before she walked past us. I watched as she gracefully walked away.

I sighed and faced Ian whose eyes were twinkling. He grabbed my hands and smiled brightly.

"What do you want to talk about? Don't tell me nagugustohan mo na ako?"He laughed.  I smiled bitterly. Ang kapal naman ng face.

"Siguro... Kung hindi ako si Mikha Lim, siguro magugustuhan kita." By the look on his face, I bet he didn't expect I was going to say that. Tama lang ito para hindi na rin siya umasa pa.

"Ian you are a great guy. You have done so much for me, and I couldn't ask for anything pa. Whatever we had in the past, I hope it was great. I wish I made you happy because you deserve it." His eyes are filled with confusion.

"Ian, I'm sorry but I don't think I can ever be that same Mikha. I can't continue whatever relationship we had in the past, kasi hindi ko mahanap ang pagmamahal na deserve mo sa sarili ko." I removed my hands from his grasp, and he just stood there.

"No, Mikha. Kaya ko naman i-earn ka nang paulit-ulit--" He tried to grab my hand again, but this time I moved away from him.

"Ian, no. Hindi na talaga pwede. I tried so many times to find any love for you every time you made me feel loved, but all I felt was guilt for not being able to give as much as I received from you." His eyes started tearing up.