Sugar And Spice

Chapter 12

Laura and I walked to a nearby park and talked about the interests we both had.

“I don't dance anymore, since being a hairdresser takes up all my time, but I hit the club whenever all the girls can.”

I smiled and brought my coffee to my lips, trying to think of what to say to that.

“What about you?” She asked. “Do you go out often? I bet the girls never leave you alone.”

This topic was making me so uncomfortable, and within five minutes of talking about ourselves, I knew instantly that there was no spark, no connection and despite what Emma had said, we had nothing in common.

She baked once and burnt whatever she made.

“I'm too busy for that, running the shop and being an old man.” I joke, making her giggle and link her arm with mine.

“You're not an old man.” She smiled up at me. “You're what… 33?”

I nod my head and look down at her hands gripping my arm as she sticks to my side in discomfort, but I hide it with a smile.

“Oh my gosh, don't look but we're in the presence of royalty.” Laura whispered as she leaned up to my ear.

I looked at her, and then behind me and saw just who she was talking about.

What the hell was he doing here, of all places?

He was behind us, but it looked like he hadn't even seen me yet, so I picked up the pace and took a right down a dirt path that was surrounded by trees.

“What’s wrong?” Laura asked, as I practically dragged her alone. “It's not like they care if we're next to them.”

“I'm pretty sure we'd get shot just by talking to him.” She laughed loudly, as I hissed, wanting her to stay quiet.

“Hey, why don't we go over and say hello?” She suddenly says as I pale when she starts to walk off.

“Wa- Laura, let’s just go.” I walk after her, my heart beating out of my chest.

What the fuck was she doing? I tried to keep up with her, but she had jogged back to where we were, and I had followed her, until I saw her walk up to Nicholas and Clara and start speaking to them.

Oh my god… I wanted to just turn around and walk away.

I would have, but then Laura shouted my name and called me over.

“Charlie!” She shouted, waving her hand to signal me over.

Instantly I felt all eyes on me, especially Nicholas, who widened when he sees that it was me, and even from where I stood, I could see the look in his eyes, full of guilt and shame.

I walked over and kept my facial expression as emotionless as possible, whilst Laura met me halfway and linked my arm with hers again.

I could feel Nichola's stare, as much as I tried to ignore the fact he was also holding hands with Clara, his new girlfriend.

“We're so sorry to interrupt your date, I'm just such a big fan of the royal family.” Laura gushes over Nicholas, who smiles at her politely, as his eyes shift from her to mine.

“We both are, aren't we Charlie?” She looks at me and I freeze.

I didn't know where to look, so I focused on Laura and not the two unavoidable celebrities in front of me.
One which I knew, and have kissed multiple times before.

“Yeah…” I said tightly, before smiling apologetically at Nicholas and Clara.

“We should go, we're sorry for interrupting your date.”

“Oh, it's nothing.” Clara chuckled, then leaned into Nicholas, still holding his hand.

“You're a very cute couple, enjoy your date as well.” She told me and Laura, before moving forward, Nicholas, still quietly staring at me.

“It was nice to meet you both.” Clara said politely, whilst she pulled along Nicholas.

I ignore him grab hold of Laura's hand and then pull her along with me, Laura still bewildered and giddy from meeting the Crown Prince of England out in the wild.

“Oh my god, I'm shaking right now.” Laura said, once we got far away from them.

The feeling was mutual.

I felt like my whole body was shaking, I didn't know if it was anger, or something else, but seeing him after he had ghosted me for two weeks after having dinner together had sparked that same annoyance and confusion it did that night.

“I wish I got a photo with him, but my mum will totally not, believe me, believe me I saw them otherwise.”

She groaned and turned around as I kept on walking.

I felt sick to my stomach, and I just wanted to go home and bake, to end whatever this was right here and now.

Seeing him again, in my part of the city with some girl was like a punch to the gut, and all while just staring at me.

Who the hell does that?

“So, I was thinking, it's getting late…” Laura tightens her hold on my hand and smiles shyly up at me.

‘Do you want to come over to mi-”

“Sorry.” I couldn't bear to keep this up anymore.

Laura was beautiful, she was kind, and sweet and I could see us having something, if it wasn't for the small fact that I just wasn't ready for this, not when I still held something for Nicholas.

I needed to get my head right.

“I think you're amazing but I don't think I'm quite ready for more.” I tell her honestly, as she slowly lets go of my hand and takes a step back.

“Oh.” Her voice was small, as she looked away in embarrassment, making me feel guilty for turning her down.

“Did I… do something wrong?” She asks, as my stomach tightens.

“No.”  I felt awful. “You're beautiful, kind and you laughed at my jokes.” I made her smile, if only by a little bit.

“Any guy would be lucky but right now I'm just not there yet, you know?” I didn't know how to say it, without hurting her more.

“It's fine… I appreciate you telling me now, and not later.” She smiled weakly up at me with sad eyes.

“Thank you for the cheesecake and coffee, and… this, despite how it ended up, I had fun.” She said, as I hated myself for doing this.

“Me too.”

Laura then smiles and then sighs. “I'll see you around then, alright?” She asks and I nod my head.

“Bye, Charlie.”

I watched her turn around and walk away, all the way until I couldn't see her anymore, and as I watched her leave, a part of me was thankful she never looked back, she could move on from me and find someone ready for love.

Yet another part of me wanted to go after her, tell her the whole truth, without sounding completely mad.

‘I can't go back to yours, because I might not be over a guy, who I may or may not be attracted to.’

There was nothing I could do about it, this was just how the way things were.

The only part I wish that never happened was running into Nicholas, if that never happened, I was sure I could've had something with Laura, something different than I had with Nicholas, but still something.
Something huh…

Whatever, I knew myself and the more I wanted, the more I lost myself to craving more, and then I would evidently get myself hurt, because I let someone in.

All for a little bit of ‘something’.

I wanted love, like anyone else, but with Laura I could never get that, not when I was like this, still in pain from something I never got a chance to figure out.

Well, I never will now, I guess it is what it is.

Maybe I was meant to be alone?