Sugar And Spice

Chapter 17

Being in a car with Nicholas felt exhilarating, like I was breaking some rules and was happy about it.
“Oh I love this song.” He said as it turned the volume up.

The song was something I completely wouldn't have guessed that he would.

Beyonce played loud in the car, and Nicholas moved his lips along with the lyrics.

“Wow.” I say over the music, as he looks at me from the corner of his eye.

“What, I can't listen to mundane music like everyone else?” He asks, and I shrug and look out the window at the country scenery.

“I didn't say anything.”

Nicholas then turns down the music and then clears his throat, making me turn my head and look at him, to see that he looked nervous, tapping his finger against the steering wheel.

“What is it?” I asked him. “Are we lost?” I joked as he shook his head.

“No, it's uh.” He cleared his throat.

“I'm going to ask you something, and feel free to say no.”

He kept his eyes on the road, as I watched him take a deep breath, his finger still tapping away.

“How do you feel about making this a continuous thing?” He asked as I looked at him confusingly.

“A continuous thing?” I repeated, laughing as I noticed the tips of his ears turn slightly pink.

“Are you asking me to run away with you every weekend? Or did I get that wrong?” I ask, as he looks at me panicky, then back at the road.

“No… but yes.” He groaned. “Sort of, but no.”

“I meant it as though the two of us became more than friends.”

I simply stared at him, my stomach doing flips as I shift in my seat, suddenly too shy to look at him so I looked forward.

“I didn't realize we were friends.” I joked awkwardly, as I felt him looking at me.

Nicholas wasn't going to drop this, and I felt like he needed an answer now, and I felt guilty trying to change the subject, so what do I say?

There was so much attached to dating someone like Nicholas, so much I wasn't ready for, and don't think I would be ready for, not in a million years.

So, how do I tell him that, without saying no?

“Nicholas…” I rub my foreheads, and try to find the words.

Spending time with Nicholas, and knowing more about him, it was hard to not like him, find him attractive, and want something more, but dating?

“I like spending time with you.” I started, as I noticed us get closer to a castle up ahead.
“But?” He aske, as I felt my hands start to sweat.

Nicholas drove up to the castle and parked out front, and he was right, it was in the middle of nowhere out in the English countryside, and everything about it screamed solitude.

I just now realized this might have been the worst time to talk about ‘us’ when I didn't even know where we were.

He turned the car off, and then turned to me, his face no stoic and waiting for me to talk.
“Okay.” I take my seatbelt off, and turn to face him.

“I've never dated a guy before, let alone a guy who will be King in the future, I just don't know where I see myself in this future, and-” I paused, my heart starting to pump twice as fast.

I didn't want to do this here, but there was no way around it anymore, me and Nicholas had something going on, and if not now, then when?

He had to know how I felt about this.