Love & death: Feel it all

Gustav

"Well... I was sort of the last one to join them. Georg had become friends with them for a few months before I did. Scar... there are parts of this story that I can't tell you. It's too dangerous." Gustav says. He stopped what he was doing and turned to lean his lower back against the kitchen counter. I tried to focus on my vegetables while still listening.

"Well... then talk around the dangerous parts." I say. This feels strange. Talking to Gustav for real. I keep remembering what he did to Mary amd how he was always drunk. I'll never forget that.

"We were teenagers when we met. I never met Bill and Tom's parents. Actually... none of us met either of our parents. None of them knew mine either. It's like... we were different people when we were hanging out together. We were ourselves. And that's what made us get our guard down... and we did stupid things." Gustav says. He looks down at the floor before he continues.

"We started drinking. Really drinking. And... the people who raised Bill and Tom... they started to teach us... everything. And we helped them with... the same thing that we do now. And eventually we just kind of became our own thing. I can't really... get into detail after that." Gustav says. I look up from my vegetables at him. He looks worried for some reason.

"What is it that's so dangerous? Is it the people who raised Bill and Tom?" I say putting down the knife.

"I can't tell you. It's best if you know nothing. If you don't know anything... they can't hurt you." Gustav says. Now I'm starting to get worried. If the people who raised Bill and Tom are so dangerous that Gustav can't even tell me about them, then this whole life might be more dangerous than I thought it was.

I've always known it was dangerous. After being nearly killed more than once and now I'm covered in scars, it's obvious that it's dangerous. I didn't think it could get any worse. But it sounds like there are people here in Tokyo more dangerous than Bill and Tom.

"Okay. Could they ever want to kidnap a child?" I ask Gustav, now looking directly into his eyes. I'm serious now. This isn't a talk about his childhood or how he met his friends. If he thinks that they could have taken my daughter, we are officially fucked.

"I have to go." Gustav says. Suddenly he just storms out of the room and the door smacks shut after him, and he's gone.

"What was that about?" Georg asks. I look at the door, wondering exactly the same thing. Did I hit a nerve or something? Does that reaction mean that these people actually could have taken my daughter?

"I don't know. We'll just have to wait for him to come back." I say, unsure of what I'm saying.

Gustav pov:

Scarlett made me realize something. I should have thought of it long ago. If these people have taken her and Tom's daughter, there's no way we're getting her back without paying a very big price. Something that I don't think we can pay. Something like a life or a life.

"Crystal? Meet me at the bar in 15 minutes. It's urgent. Pack a bag with the most needed things." I tell Crystal on the phone. I hear her confused noises but she doesn't say anything for a while.

"Crystal?" I ask her.

"Yes... yes. I'll be there. Did something happen?" She asks.

"No... not anythibg like you're thinking. I just realized something and you and I have to get away for a little while. I'll explain more later." I tell her. I actually don't know what I'm doing. But I have a feeling that I know where Tom is or what he might be doing. Whatever it is he's up to, it can't be good if he didn't bring Scarlett.
I've done terrible things. Many things I'm not proud of. And Crystal made me a better person. I need to get away from this life. Now more than ever. I'm gonna miss Bill, Tom, Georg, all of them... but this is the rest of mine and Crystal's life on the line.

Scarlett and Bill ran before. It didn't go well but thats only because Tom came after them. If I somehow convince Tom to leave me alone... this might work. I'll be able to live a normal life.

I always wanted a real family. A daughter. And Crystal might be too young right now, but she'll get older. I don't want to hurt her or kill her. We could always start with getting a dog? All I know is that I love Crystal more than anyone. And she deserves a better life than what she's had. A better life than this.
Don't I deserve that as well???

+++

The bar is filled at this time of day. That's a good thing in this situation. Nobody will notice us and we can get away from here in peace. I haven't packed but I know where to get some money. I remember that Tom put a few pounds of cocain in the back of the car that I was supposed to sell tomorrow. I'm gonna have to sell it now. And I have a plan. I know who to sell them to and I know how to get extra money for them.

The hard part will be Crystal. She likes Scarlett and I think she might have attatched herself to her. I get that. Scarlett needed someone to be a mother for, and Crystal was perfect. Crystal needs someone to feel safe with. I'll have to arrange for her to say goodbye to Scarlett. I have an idea for that too.

First, I need to get a fake passport for Crystal and sell that cocain. We're going to go on a road trip for about a week. Drive around Tokyo. And no matter how much I wish I could escape it, I'm still me. There will always be people who are scared of me.
Eventually, once most of the danger is out of the way, we'll be able to fly somewhere else. I will let Crystal choose the place. She's young and she has dreams. I want to make those come true. We can travel all she wants.

Since I met her, I've been living just for her. I lost all interest in my own life and career. Crystal is all that matters. And I will show her that. I'm gonna protect her more than I've ever protected anyone before.

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