Love & death: Feel it all

Nick

Toms pov:

I keep thinking to myself "what if Bill was here?" and imagining if he actually was. Someohow I feel as if he's gotten stronger than me in some way. I've always been the stronger leader of the group whiel Bill was sort of my sidekick, but that might have changed after Scarlett. She makes me weaker and dumber, but she makes Bill stronger and smarter. If I hadn't shot him in the fucking shoulder, he would have been here right now, getting me out of this mess.

"You aren't going anywhere until I've had my fun. I've missed you Tommy. It hurt me when you left. Why didn't you bring Bill with you too?" Nick asks me. I close my eyes, partly to escape reality and partly to not have to stare into the beaming light.

"Oh yeahhhh... that's right, you shot him in the shoulder and nearly killed him. Now why would you go and do that to your only twin brother? Don't you love him?" Nick says, and as always, he provoked me enough to make me talk.

"Of course I love him! It was an accident!" I shout, lifting my head from the table to look at him, but I can't get far.

"An accident, huh. The only way I can imagine this is if you were gonna shoot somebody else, but Bill took the bullet. Who could that person be? Could it be your precious Scarlett that you were gonna shoot?" Nick says, walking back to stand by my side and leaning over my head. I stare into his eyes. He's gonna make me feel even worse about everything I've done, I know it. It's who he is. Torture me inside and outside.

"I bet it was Scarlett. But... the big 50.000 dollar question is... why would Bill take a bullet for her? She's yours isn't she?" Nick says with an evil smile. I can't fucking believe he's doing this guilt tripping thing again AND that it's still working on me after all these years.

"It's complicated." I snap at him. I feel and sound so pathetic, but what can I really do in this situation. Nick starts laughing and leans backwards as if I said something really hilarious.

"Complicated? It's never complicated with you. Is she Bill's or yours? Or maybe... you share? That would be a first." Nick says, acting like this is the funniest thing that's happened in months.

"Why do you care?" I ask him. He probably doesn't care one bit, but he's acting like he does. I want to know why. What's so interesting about me and my life suddenly?

"Because I missed you Tommy. Now... I don't wanna hear your stupid questions or answers..." Nick says, and his actions finish the sentence for him. He turns around and picks something up from one of the tables filled with tools that shouldn't be used to torture.

He turns back to me with a ball gag in his hands dangling between his fingers. That isn't gonna muffle my screams, it's just gonna make me uncomfortable. I think he wants to hear me scream whatever it is he's planning to do.

"Nick... why?" I ask him as he walks back to my side and starts fastening the gag around my face. There's no point in fighting, it will just make it more fun for him.
The gag settles in my mouth and I can already feel the saliva gathering in my mouth when im not able to swallow.

I know how to get through this. I just have to think of Scarlett and Caty. Once I get out of here - hopefully - I'll find Caty and we can be a family. I just have to remember that Scarlett loves me even if she also loves Bill. I have to inagine how good our life could be. Imagine anything I need to to survive this.

And then I feel it. A burning all the way down my arm but my eyes are closed. I don't want to see whats happening it would just make it worse for me. But I can guess what it is. I know this feeling. It's heated iron. And it hurts like a motherfucker.
I scream as loud as I can and it escapes around the red ball in my mouth. The sound of my own screams echo inside my brain and shut out every other noise around me. I don't even hear the guys laughing.

Every muscle in my body is contracting, wanting to get as far away from where the pain is comming from as possible, but I'm stuck. My whole body has started to shake and I'm cold and sweating. I bet I look incredibly pale but I couldn't care less.

I try to shut out all of the burning pain and sizzling noises of my skin and think about Scarlett.

Cat runs around on the grass and the sun is shining. Scarlett sits on a blanket close to Cat making sure she doesn't hurt herself. I can't look away from her gorgeous smile when her eyes follow Cat around. Cat has a paper place in her hand, running around, making the plane fly with her. I've never seen a child so happy and free.
Scarlett looks at me with bright eyes and the widest smile and she grabs my hand. I accept her hand in mine and lean closer to her. She presses her lips against mine sendinc a warm and peaceful sensation through me. All of my worries seem to fade away when she touches me.

"Thank you for coming back to get me in Germany. Caty needed her dad." Scarlett whispers against my mouth between kisses.

"I couldn't stay away from you for any longer than that year. You knew that when you left didn't you?" I ask her. She answers with another kiss.

The pain stops and I open my eyes briefly, getting blinded by the light once again for a second. I look around and I only see smiling faces but no noise. My ears are ringing when I look down at my left arm which is now completely red. Several layers of skin has been burned off and I can still feel it sizzling like butter on a pan.
The skin around it is already peeling off. It's gonna turn into a nasty full arm scar.

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