Love & death: Feel it all

Field trip

Tom pov:

I can smell the sex on Bill when he comes into the living room in the morning. I can see right through him. He tried to comfort Scarlett because she felt guilty about having sex with me, and he ended up having sex with her too. That's probably why she's still sleeping. But I can see how proud of himself he looks. He smells like her too, lavender and mint. They must have slept the entire night together. It stings strangely in my heart to know that she didn't sleep in my bed. I fucked that up by slapping her.

"Bill... you... are going on a field trip with me today. Run some errands. You don't have a choice." I tell him, trying to make him as frustrated as I am. He looks at me with tired eyes. I ignore it and let him eat breakfast in peace.

I have a plan for the day. And I don't want Scar to be any part of it at all. She did what I told her to yesterday, and that should be enough. I'll let her sleep and be alone for most of the day, or at least I'll try to control myself.

There are two important things we need to do today, and Bill deserves to come with. He won't be happy about it, but he did fuck Scarlett right after I did. I don't take that lightly. I still don't like sharing and I never did.

Also, my child has dissapeared and I need to get all of this built up anger out of me somehow. I didn't allow myself to put my anger on Scarlett's shoulders yesterday, it might have been the other way around.

My lip is still throbbing, my back stings and keeps bleeding onto my shirts. Then there's the teeth print on my shoulder that barely hurts anymore. I kind of like looking at it. I don't see anything on Bill that indicated she acted like that with him. What does that mean? Does that mean she liked him or me more?

I see no blood and no swollen lips. Not even a bite mark. But maybe it's under the clothes.

+++

The first thing we need to do, is find more drugs. We ended up using all of it at the party in germany, so I need more. I'm starting to shake and I've been smoking on the entire drive to the meeting place. It's at the edge of Tokyo where the streets are filled with whores and druggies. Not a single person is dressed in a suit or fancy dress.

Japanese small girls come up to me and drag in my clothes, trying to get me to pay them for sex. But I don't want sex. Not from them. Bill attracts just as much attention as I do. Georg is staying behind with Scarlett, making sure she doesn't leave the house once she's awake. And Gustav is in Crystal's room like always.

Finally we reach our destination. There are less japanese women in neon see through clothes, and more gangs in corners of the streets.

"The legendary Kaulitz twins. Back for good now?" A man asks from a dark alley with a thick japanese accent. The man steps out of the shadows, I expect him to have a gun in his hand, but it's stil in the holster.

"I respect you. No need for guns." The man says again. I don't know his name. It's safer that way. He finds a bag from his back pocket and takes a few steps closer. I reach out for it and look inside. Three small plastic bags of coke. Exactly what I wanted.
I smile at the man and find the stack of cash I have burried in my back pocket. I throw it to the man and turn around on my heels to walk away. I counted the money, it's all there. Once I have my coke, there's nothing more I need from him.

Cassie pov:

Tom has been absent for the night and day. I haven't seen him since we got home from the bar yesterday. He basically locked me in my room and I don't know why. Now that Scarlett is back, will he still want me?

Tom wanted me because I look like Scarlett. That was clear from the start and I accepted that. But I didn't think he would ever bring her back here. And I have run out of smokes and Tom doesn't have any more drugs, so I have to go get myself some money.

I walk down the stairs and into the living room. Only Georg is there with his back turned on the couch, watching tv and picking his nails out of boredom. He was probably put on Scarlett duty.

So I manage to get my jacket and get out of the house without Georg noticing. Then all I have to do is get to the right part of Tokyo before the sun is completely down. I need to get a sense of the place before it all goes dark. It's a dangerous corner of Tokyo, but when Tom isn't here and I need my drugs, I have to go there.

"What do you think you're doing?" Someone asks behind me when I try to steal one of Tom's cars to get there. He won't even notice or care. I'll be back with it before anything can happen. I turn around and look at the person behind me. It's Scarlett.

"Getting out of here so I can get some money for drugs. Some of us need that." I say to her, turning around and trying to pick the lock on the car again. I feel her warm hand on my shoulder and I turn my head to the side. She doesn't look angry or anything, she sctually looks nice.

"Let me." She says, pulling out the car keyd that she somehow found and unlocking the car.

"I'll come with you. I won't judge you for any choices you make... I just want to protect you." She says, getting into the front seat even though I can drive. It's actually kind of nice to have someone take care of me. She feels almost like a mother to me now.

We drive to the edge of Tokyo and then she asks for directions. I point her left and right and left and right until we have reached the place where I feel most comfortable. The place Tom found me when he took me in. It's the place I had been working before but now I only go there when I desperately need some money.

"You don't want to come inside with me." I tell Scarlett. She looks at me with worried mother eyes which stings deeply into my heart. I miss my mother. I wish she was here right now instead of Scarlett. I can't trust Scarlett yet.

***