𝐆𝐢𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐚 𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐨. Model, actress, celebrity. At the age of 22 Gianna already has everything or at least that's what everyone thinks.
But in reality, her life couldn't be more of a mess. Where there's money there's alcohol, where there's pa...
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They say, play with fire and you will get burned, well I got burned. The moment I heard him say those three words it was like my brain stopped functioning. I meant it. It took me totally off guard and I know that's surprising taking I practically bullied him into admitting his feelings but a part of me still believed this whole thing was just a silly game that meant nothing in reality.
Big mistake. It wasn't a game and it totally mattered. Miles hadn't only admitted he wanted me but also that he had wanted me for a very long time. I wasn't imagining things, that night at the beach, I knew I couldn't be the only one. He was just hiding, too scared to face reality. And I get it, I do, I understand why he had to fight himself off wanting me, the situation we were — and are— in is far from simple but he could have handled it a lot better. We both should have.
If we had been honest about what we felt and stopped ignoring the facts maybe we wouldn't have gotten to this point. We weren't even together and we had already had more fights than I have ever had with any of my past relationships. Relationships, I don't think you can even call them that. I have never truly dated someone. Is not what I do. Some people may call it fear of commitment, I call it self-preservation.
The closest I have ever been to a relationship was actually with Lucas. He was a great guy behind that huge ego and borderline narcissistic tendencies. He is a little too full of himself but he is a good man. Honest to the core, supportive. I met him on a photoshoot two years ago and we hit off... well, he asked me for a date every day for a week until I said yes. Then we hit it off. What we had was casual, two months of a lot of sex and fun. It ended the moment he asked me if I would like to go steady. I remember I almost spat my wine when I heard what he had asked me.
Lucas Cooper, the number one manwhore wanted to go steady? I wasn't sure if I should laugh or run. Sure he was amazing on paper, and a good lay but the thought of dating him had never crossed my mind. Not once. Thankfully I didn't have to tell him this because my face had been a pretty clear giveaway. When he noticed my reaction he quickly took his words back and told me to act like nothing had happened. I tried, we lasted one more week and then decided to stay as friends. We worked better that way. At least until he moved to LA, it had been a while since I saw him.
But this isn't about him, it's about me and the man whose jealousy brought us where we are currently standing. On our way back to the hotel we decided we had to settle this thing between us for once and for all and here we are. Quietly standing in the middle of the living room we share. We have been in silence for a least ten minutes now, stealing glances at one another from time to time. Waiting for one of us to break it.
"Maybe we should-"
"I think we-"
Looks like we both thought it was time.
"Sorry, you go." I smile hesitantly, playing with my nails as I turn to face him.
"I was just going to say that I don't think we can really go back to how we were anymore, we did what we did, reckless or not we were perfectly aware of what it would mean, and now we are here." Miles' voice is perfectly calm and collected, but this time I don't feel like he is distancing himself with his words, he is simply taking this seriously.
