Adrifted Hearts (Friend Series #4)

Chapter 18

Amaris POV

Hulaan niyo kung saan ang date namin? I suggested sa food court and he agreed.

Kaya ngayon nakaupo kami sa table namin, maraming pagkain ang nakalatag sa harapan. Namilog ang mga mata ko sa pagkamangha sa dami ng pagkain na inorder ni Ryo.

I was kinda worried it would be too much but Ryo kept on insisting that the amount was just perfect. He even did a calculation that I ate atleast five dishes of street foods multiplied by three. Ryo explained that he noticed that when he saw me once eating with my friends.

Hindi pa din ako makapaniwalang ganun niya ako masyadong ino-obserbahan.

"Ryo sigurado ka ba na okay lang sa'yo? Madami na akong nakain, hindi mo naman kailangan ilibre ako e," giit ko at tumingin sa kanya.

Puno ang bibig ko pero todo nguya pa din sa kwek-kwek.

Agad siyang umiling. "Nag ipon ako para sa atin. So don't worry about our expenses." he gave me a reassuring smile.

"Pero-"

"No buts baby. Its either I am paying or myself." his determination was unwavering, even when I tried to argue.

I pouted. "Parehas lang naman iyon e."

"I know. Kaya don't even pull out that wallet of yours. Ang pera mo, ay para sa'yo. Pera ko, ay pera mo." kalmadong sabi niya.

I shrugged. "Okay. Sabi mo yan e!"

As we continued to enjoy our meal, something that I had forgotten came back to my mind and I blurted it out.

"May sasabihin ako." panimula ko, nilunok muna ang buong kwek-kwek sa bibig.

"Go ahead, I'll listen." he said attentively.

Uminom muna ako ng juice bago tumikhim.

"So lately I watched 'Inside Out' at napansin ko Joy, Sadness, and Anger are colored yellow, blue, and red which consist of the primary colors. Then I realized that they are our main emotions, in short, they are connected to each other. In the movie I noticed how Joy always wants to make Riley happy, and it mirrors how people wants to find happiness in all aspects. We have Joy in the midst of life, a part of ourselves that many wants to keep. But people often neglect that Anger and Sadness is also a part of ourselves that needs to be accepted and felt. Just like the Joy, Anger is the most likely emotion that cares for us the most because it gives us the signal when we feel neglected, disregarded, mistreated, and disrespected, just like Sadness. The difference is that Anger is perceived unfairness, injustice, or frustration that could result in more confrontational behavior. While Sadness usually triggered by a sense of loss, disappointment, or emotionally hurt that lead into more passive or introspective behavior. But the thing is, to find Joy in the midst of it, we need to embrace everything because we can't run away from it. We suffer because we refuse to accept Sadness and Anger, and the more we run away from it, the more we break into pieces." I paused and took a deep breath.

"That's why healing is allowing ourselves to feel. To process the pain and anger of life. To the anger we feel, we suffer in ways we think we don't deserve and sadness for why this has to happen. But, that's the reason why we have emotions; it is to make us feel them. To accept, feel, and move forward." I smiled. "Life is full of uncertainty. Sadness and Anger are transitory, just like Joy, happiness, pain, Sadness, and Anger are impermanent just like everything. It will pass but the wounds will linger forever, that's where acceptance takes place. We can't just move on, we also need to accept things because what happens, is bound to happen. It was written in the prophecy of God, it happened for a reason."

"While anger can be a natural emotion, lashing it out on someone who is unaware of your situation is not right." I continued.

"Everyone has their own silent battles that they fight. Mental health challenges can be difficult to notice, since some people handle it differently or oftentimes just invisible. Some can manage to keep their struggles hidden, while others have visible signs." Sumubo ako ng isang siomai bago nagpatuloy. "Pain is a inevitable aspect of life, and we find ways to cope with it through various forms of escapism."