South Tree * TWD

49. Self-Sabotage

"YOU NEVER ANSWERED my question earlier." Carl told Lillian. Lillian glanced next to her where she sat on the pew to Carl. All of the bodies were cleaned out, buried outside the church earlier but Lillian couldn't shake the feeling of their presence. She didn't like it, it definitely didn't help her sleep. So she sat at the end of the pew that Carl was kind of laying down on. He leaned against the arm rest with his legs crossed on the pew.

"What?"

"Athena and Colton..."

Lillian scoffed. "I don't know. Weren't you like— best buds with Colton, shouldn't you know?" She teased as she watched his face. His expression going from amused to not quickly. He let out a sigh as he looked down in his lap, picking at his finger. "I was kidding." Lillian said quickly upon seeing this.

"I'm sorry for leaving you out a lot when we were younger." Carl apologized as she glanced back at up Lillian and then at his hands. Lillian felt a small tug down on her lips as she turned and sat the same was Carl was sitting, with her back against the arm rest but with her legs pulled towards her chest.

"Why'd you do it?" Lillian asked quietly as she watched Carl.

"I—" Carl let out a breath. "I don't know. I guess you're a girl so i felt intimidated by it. Back at the first camp, you just seemed better than me at everything and i didn't like it. Then when we got to the farm, i knew you liked Colton more and i hated it." There was what felt like a long pause as Lillian watched him carefully, she knew her heart best as racing. "And part of me thought you'd be the only girl close to my age left and Colton got all of your attention, i guess it upset me." Lillian's eyes widened slightly as she felt warmth gather in her cheeks.

"Oh." She mumbled as she wrapped her arms around her torso.

"I— I don't like you or anything like that." Carl was quick to say as he looked up at Lillian. Lillian couldn't help but feel disappointed, she wasn't sure why. "I thought you and Colton would end up dating, to be honest." He let out a small chuckle. Lillian let out an amused hum as she looked down at her arms.

"Colton's just my best friend."

"I used to like Beth." Carl said suddenly. Lillian looked up at him with furrowed eyebrows to see his amused look.

"Beth?" Lillian repeated in disbelief. Carl nodded. "Isn't she like— old." Lillian said the last part low.

Carl let out a small laugh. "She was the only other girl left."

Lillian felt almost a sense of regret. She felt like her heart was being squeezed through this entire conversation. Part of her wished that she could go back and spend more time with Carl, maybe be nicer to him even if he wasn't any nicer to her. She didn't understand that part.

"You used to like anybody?" Carl asked her slowly.

"No." Lillian answered quickly. "Nobody." She glanced up at Carl through her eyebrows as he nodded at her.

"Am i your best friend too?" Carl asked quieter then he had been talking. Lillian looked up at him fully, a smile tugging at her lips.

"I don't know if i like you well enough for all that yet." Lillian joked, grinning at Carl. His face looked shocked at he looked back at her.

"Okay. I get it. I guess i'll just go—" Carl said as he rolled onto his feet but before he could walk away, Lillian quickly sat up and grabbed onto his arm.

"You are my best friend too." Lillian said quietly. Carl looked back at her, a smile pulling at his own lips. As Lillian looked at him, holding onto his arm, she felt even more nervous. She felt her heart beat hard in her chest as she gave him a small smile back. For her, it felt like they were looking at each other for forever but it was only a couple of seconds before the church doors open and both of the kids jumped. Lillian was quick to let go of Carl as she looked towards the door.