H.S | Same song, second verse | Second book

Chapter 9. Two to two

Choosing yourself is challenging. It can make you feel guilty, self-absorbed, and like a bad person. However, the beauty of choosing yourself is that it opens up the opportunity to find true happiness—a happiness that doesn't depend on anyone else but you. By loving yourself, you also enhance your ability to love the people around you more/deeper. That is something i learned on...

[October 29th, 2015]

"Wow, we're finally done," Dad sighs, flopping onto the couch in the studio.

"Yeah, it's official now. The renovation is done and it looks amazing! Thanks, Dad," I grin, collapsing beside him.

"I'm glad," he says, a tired smile on his face.

We both slump into the cushions, completely spent.

"Alright, tell me what's on your mind?" I exclaim after studying his face.

"What? Nothing's wrong," he protests.

"Come on, It's okay to feel overwhelmed, but talk to me. You can't keep disappearing everytime it gets hard. It's not fair." I insists.

"I'm sorry for everything, I just don't think I can be the dad you deserve," his voice, heavy with regret.

I sit up, feeling a jolt of surprise. "What I need is you, Dad, just you. I don't need some perfect dad that only exists in your head. I'm sorry if I ever made you feel that way," I say firmly, taking his hand.

"Don't apologize to me; it's me who needs to apologize," he murmurs, shaking his head.

I take his hand and sit up straight. "Why do you keep saying sorry for things I have let go of a long time ago? You've shown me time and time again that you're different now. I forgave you because I saw the change. It's time you forgive yourself and start trusting both of us," I plead.

"I just can't keep this up," he admits, pulling his hand away.

"You're good enough, Dad. I could tell you that a million times, but you won't believe it until you feel it for yourself," I offer, tears brimming in my eyes.

"I love you, Noa." he shrugs, like it's a relief to say.

"I love you, Dad." I smile, take his hand again and squeezing it.

-

After lunch, Walker arrives with a young girl in tow, "I'm sorry she wasn't supposed to come with me. It was a last-minute thing. You don't have to pay me. I know it's inconvenient," he explains, slightly out of breath.

"Walker, of course I'll pay you. You showed up when you could have canceled or blown us off, so I'm thankful you're even here," I reassure him before turning my attention to the 10-11 year old girl. "So, what's your name?"

"Isa," she replies.

"Hi, Isa, I'm Noa," I greet her with a smile. "Can I tell you a secret?"

She nods eagerly.

"Do you like ice cream?" I inquire.

Another nod.

"Well, then you'll be happy to know I have a whole bunch of ice cream in the freezer, and your homework is to eat as much as you can. Deal?" I propose, awaiting her answer.

"Yeah, okay," she nods eagerly, flashing a smile.

"Good. I have to go now, but call me if anything. I'll be home late tonight or maybe tomorrow," I inform them, kissing Arlo goodnight, hugging Walker, and waving to Isa.

So now I'm headed to a blind date with a musician, a friend of Harmy's. Honestly, I'm feeling pretty anxious about it, I wasn't exactly thrilled about going in the first place. But Harmy practically dragged me into it, swearing she'd never talk to me again if I chickened out. She's been through another breakup with Leila, and now she's desperate for a love story with a happy ending. She's convinced that scenario involves me and her friend.