H.S | Same song, second verse | Second book

Chapter 18. When the Heart Wants What It Can't Have

[April 11th, 2016]

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It's been exactly eight days since Harry and I kissed. It's simultaneously the worst and best thing that's happened to me in a long time. I, Noa Everlyn, kissed an engaged guy. FUCK. It was the most exciting, thrilling, and anticipated moment I've ever experienced, which probably tells you more about me than anything else. I can still feel my heart pounding so hard I thought it would explode, his hands on my cheeks, his lips on mine.

Since that kiss, my mind's been a mess. Every time I close my eyes, I relive that moment: the spark between us, the way everything else faded away. It was amazing and totally reckless.

Harry being engaged is a constant reminder of the line I crossed. And yet, I can't fully regret it. The thrill of our kiss is still with me, leaving me torn between guilt and excitement.

I keep daydreaming about him, wondering if he's thinking about me too. What does this mean for us? For him? For his fiancée? I have so many questions and no answers. The only thing I know for sure is that kiss changed everything.

I try to go about my day like nothing happened, but it's impossible. His touch, his scent, the way he looked at me—it all keeps replaying in my head. I don't know what's going to happen next, but I can't ignore the chaos inside me. This might be the most complicated chapter of my life yet, and I have no idea how it's going to end

Literally two minutes later, Abi barges in with two Starbucks coffees in hand and a supportive smile.

"So, tell me, EVERYTHING?" She plops down on the couch beside me, folding her legs under herself.

I take one of the coffees from her and sigh, feeling a mix of relief and dread. Abi's my best friend, always my go-to, but this whole situation feels different, heavier.

"Well," I start, "it was like a scene out of a movie. It was raining and one minute he pulled me under an awning, and the next... we were kissing. It was intense and confusing and... incredible."

Abi's eyes widen, and she takes a sip of her coffee. "And now?"

"Now, I'm mortified," I admit. "I can't stop thinking about him, about what we did, and what it means. I know it was wrong, but it felt so right."

Abi nods, her expression thoughtful. "Do you think he feels the same way?"

"I don't know," I say, feeling my insides turn. "I haven't talked to him since. I'm too scared to find out. He is engaged, he has somebody. Somebody he wants to spent the rest of his life with. Shit, this is so confusing and complicated. I wish we had never reunited, I wish we never kissed, I wish...I wish I didn't love him."

Abi reaches out and squeezes my hand. "Do you really though?"

I sigh and a small laugh escapes my lips. "No.."