Don't Go

So What Can I Say?

It's been 6 days since I've seen Gerald. 6 days without seeing him. 6 days without talking to him. 6 days since Ive heard his voice and his laugh. 6 days since I have actually been happy.
I haven't been able to function. I can't even think without him popping into my mind every second. I can't get out of bed. Hell, I haven't even been sleeping. I can't eat. I've only eaten a bowl of cereal, some strawberry's, and some chocolate.
Gerald has been calling me nonstop but I can't pick up the phone. I don't have enough courage to talk to him. Not after what he did that night. It's won't stop playing through my head. The way he looked at me, the things he said, but I can't stop thinking about how violent he seemed. I wanted the old Gerald back. The one that wouldn't hurt a fly. The one who called his mother everyday to make sure she was okay. The one who would hold me tight if I was scared. Where was that Gerald that night.
I finally felt okay enough to get out of bed, to walk out to see Mia and Laila. I walked sluggishly through the hallway to the kitchen and living room where Mia and Laila were.
"Look who finally came out of her room." Laila says as Mia gets up from the couch.
"Wow... You look like a hot mess." Mia says as she puts her coffee mug into the kitchen sink.
"Okay guys, enough with the banter. I'm not strong enough to even watch tv with crying at some stupid love commercial." I say grabbing a glass of water chuckling at myself.
"Crystal I really think you should talk to him." Mia says out of the blue.
"I want to but what do I say?"
"Tell him how you feel, what you have undergone through this past week." Laila tells me as she walks behind me.
"Damn girl you smell like straight up shit." Laila continues to talk.
"I don't know guys." I start to say before I get interrupted by Mia.
"C'mon Crystal, GROW SOME FUCKIN BALLS." Mia tells me as she pokes my sides.
I wiggle out of her grip and run to the table in the dining room. Mia tackles me to the floor as I scream for her to let go.
"DO IT OR ILL TICKLE YOU TO DEATH!!" Mia says as she holds up her hand as if she was ready to attack me with tickles.
"OKAY OKAY ILL CALL HIM." I say before my brain can catch up with my voice. I instantly regret saying it. But in reality I desperately wanted to hear his voice. Too see if he was as miserable as I am. I wanted to see him but I can't let go what happened that easily.

"Wow that was easy." Laila says as she grabs a piece of chocolate off the counter.
I get up and walk to my room. I walked to my bed as I grabbed my phone off the dresser. I dialed G's number and pressed call. All I can think of is what I'm gonna do if he answers.
"Crystal?" I hear G ask with hope.

So what can I say?