"You made it here way too quickly."
"Not like I took a car."
"Speaking of cars, I have a severed head and a body in the trunk of my stolen one."
"Sounds about right."
"You are so sexy when you accept my murderous tendencies so casually."
"Now's not the time, feathers," She huffed with a small smile, rolling her eyes, and then started surveying the land, "There's something here."
You followed her closely as she walked the perimeter, but then she stopped to glance over at you, thinking.
"What is it?" You finally asked, your voice much lower than you intended.
"That thing you told me about your mother's trip to Egypt a couple months back..." She circled the center, mumbling something to herself, "I think she used their traditions to lock this place down."
You watched as she basically played with some rocks, but there was a clear pattern she was making in the ground, and soon enough, the dirt had markings that looked...well, they looked Egyptian. Then she placed the rocks precisely where they were before, stepping back as the ground shook, the excess dirt falling away to reveal a metal door.
"Again, so sexy," You smirked before kissing her quickly and then she led the way down with her gun drawn, but you put a hand on her arm to stop her, "Wait, lemme get something from the car."
You ran back out as you made her wait there, not exactly the patient type, and you fished the staff out that you had brought from home, transporting it from lying next to the head in the trunk of your other car to the backseat of this one.
"Okay! Let's go!" You cheered and she widened her eyes, looking from the staff to you and then back again.
"That's-"
"Yeah, thought it might come in handy if we ran into Thanos' mutated love child or something," You shrugged, admiring it as you twisted it around, "God knows what he would've had a child with."
"Y/-"
"Could be anything from a probing alien to like, a piece of plywood – oh my god is that how groo-"
"Y/n!" She cut you off urgently and you looked at her with doe eyes, "You...you had that in the car this whole time?"
"I wasn't going to leave it at home." You put a hand out like it was obvious and she wanted to laugh at how adorable you sounded, almost like a kid, but the subject was far from childlike.
She kept a close side eye on the staff you were carrying as the two of you made your way down. It was your typical lair with its dark staircase leading into a room that had – oh, that's a bit new.
"Is that...?" She couldn't even get the word out after flicking the lights on, the place's overheads turning on one at a time.
"That is so nasty," You cringed as you rounded the huge container in the middle of the room that was clearly the main attraction to this evil scientist's lab and it made sense because of what was floating inside, "Why would someone keep his head?"
"Not someone," She corrected, peering over at you from across it, "Your mother, Y/n."
"Or Paige," You tried, a little desperate to not have this all be on your family because that would mean you were oblivious this whole time, "Or those crazies at the cabin."
"They were groupies," She shook her head, "We looked into it and there's something else you should probably know."
"There always is," You muttered, getting frustrated with all the twists and turns these past months have held, but then you gestured for her to continue, "Go on, give it to me."
"Is Paige Montgomery dead?" She asked first and you shook your head no, her nodding right after, "Well, I think she was working for or with your mom who was a...confidant of Thanos', and she got your dad involved somewhere down the line."
"Come on, seriously?" You groaned loudly, throwing your hands out as you looked up at the ceiling, "Could this day get any worse?"
"She was his eyes and ears on earth," She continued cautiously, not wanting to upset you, "And I don't know if she fell for your dad before or after, but he was convinced to...kill your brother, so obviously he had his own issues."
"You're sounding like a real SHIELD agent, Nat," You pointed the staff at her, "And I don't like it."
"I'm sorry, sweetheart," She smiled at you apologetically, "I know this isn't easy to digest."
Something made a noise outside and the two of you fell silent, your attentions going from the door to each other. She raised her gun again and gestured for you to stay put while she checked it out.
You rounded the container, looking at it in disgust, and wondering how someone could've pieced it back together after Thor put his hammer through it. Then, you heard Natasha coming back, but she wasn't alone.
"Found this outside," She told you, leading Paige into the room with a gun on her, "Thought better of trying to stash her in the trunk again though."
"I wasn't able to get in last time I was here," Paige gasped excitedly, eyes on the head, "I can't believe it's real!"
"You really think..." You trailed off, scoffing in disbelief with a slight head shake, gesturing to the thing with the staff, "You really think you lunatics can revive some dude with just his head?"
"With the research your mom has done," She was already nodding, a grin taking over her features, "I know we can."
"And this research...it's in this lab?"
"Yes, all of it." She wasn't even hesitating to answer, too elated to finally be here and to have it be confirmed that it was all true.
"Keep her there." You told Natasha and she nodded as you lifted the staff, letting it come crashing down on the container.
The clear liquid spilled out all over the floor along with the shattered glass and Paige was yelling out for you to stop, panicking beyond belief.
The head dropped to the floor and you aimed the staff at it, taking one shot before it was obliterated into nothing.
"No! What did you do!" She was shouting at the top of her lungs, "You're destroying your mother's life work! We need him to make this world right!"
You strolled over to them and just as you got to Paige's side where Natasha held her at gunpoint from behind, an arm's length between them, you whipped out your gun and shot her in the temple.
Natasha raised her eyebrows after the body fell to the floor and looked to you for an explanation, but you just shrugged.
"I'm cleaning up my messes?" You offered weakly.
She hesitantly nodded before the two of you made your way back up the stairs and it's like she read your mind when she got to the car, pulling out another grenade, holding it up to you.
"Care to do the honors?"
"How thoughtful of you." You smiled, leaning over to kiss her cheek as you took it from her hand, and she smiled with an eyeroll.
On second thought, you went to the trunk and fished out that nasty head, letting it fall down the steps before you pulled the pin, throwing the grenade inside, and then shutting the door. The two of you ran for cover and got behind a huge tree trunk just in time for the underground place to be smashed to bits.
"Can we finally go home?" She asked you with a huff, the two of you breathing heavily next to each other as your backs pressed against the bark.
You glanced over at her with a smirk, and she smiled, your faces covered in soot, some blood on yours, noticing the glint of adoration in your eyes.
"Wherever you go, that's my home."
