A Hard Rain's A-Gonna Fall

Chapter IV: Blowin' in the Wind

Damn good thing I carry my passport in my bag with me.

At the very last minute I agreed to go to Brazil, popping in a Dramamine. Angus' face brightened considerably and despite my churning insides and sweaty palms I was happy to lengthen my visit. 

"Don't worry about luggage, we'll take care of it when we get there," he said holding my hand while we waited for our plane. "You uh...locked the house up before you left, right?"

I knew I did and I still felt paranoid. I leaned in close to Angus keeping my voice low. "Just Brazil," I said. "Then I'll head home."

"Tour's almost up," he said brushing away a stray lock of my hair. "I...sorta have a surprise for you. After it's over." I looked at him, his eyes like that of a puppy dog's. 

"What?"

"If I told you it wouldn't be much of a surprise," he said sticking his tongue out. I huffed and leaned on him, bouncing my leg. Just like I suspected my feet were covered in patches of exposed skin and blisters. But after Angus woke me up I tugged my heels back on and followed him off the bus. 

Brian sat in the chair next to me with a magazine and coffee. "Mornin', lass, want a sip?" he asked holding the cup out to me. Knowing good and well I shouldn't have, I took a sip anyway. He laughed at my disgust. "Bit bitter?"

"Yeah, a bit," I said scrunching my face up. He took a long drink and sighed.

"It's the blackest of the black, the freshest beans they had." He flipped open the magazine with one hand and set it on his lap. "Like a good tea meself, or an ale. Asked but they were fresh out." Another long drink and another long sigh. "Now for a bit of readin'."

**********

Band and crew piled onto the plane, a cargo plane carrying all the equipment behind us. I toppled into the window seat, Angus sliding next to me. I felt my eyes grow heavy and my movements slow. My stomach rumbled and I suddenly regretted not getting anything at the airport cafe when I had the chance. I slipped my shoes off again and rubbed my feet. "Want help with that?" Angus asked, a glint in his eye. 

A foot massage sounded nice but I hesitated. And pulled my feet away. "No, no thanks."

"You alright?" Angus asked concerned.

"I'm fine." Everything is fine.

"I didn't...pressure you into comin', did I?" He furrowed his brow and tilted his head. "Would you rather have stayed behind?"

"No! No, I..." I sighed and looked down at my lap. What was wrong with me? Why did everything feel wrong? Why did I feel so...awful? "I just don't feel like talking," I said. 

Angus sat quietly, his hands folded together. The hum of the plane and the passengers left me to drown in my thoughts. My neck and shoulders ached. My stomach had ceased churning but began to rumble louder. I wasn't sure Angus could hear it, and didn't say anything if he could. After everyone was seated and cigarettes were stamped out, the plane began to roll. 

I grasped Ang's hand and took deep calming breaths. He gently squeezed my hand three times. Heart pounding in my chest, I could feel every bone and every muscle in my body. I was turning to stone. I needed to move. I needed to move or I'd never move again. 

My hand turned white as I gripped the arm rest. The plane could have been driving us to the end of the world to drop us off the edge. Everything tilted back and we raced upward, going so fast we might have ended up in 1986 had the plane not evened out and reality returned to normal. I relaxed my grip. I could feel Angus stare at me. I gave him my best smile. 

I loved him.