"I said I'm fine."
Angus sat across the table from me with a bowl of soggy cornflakes. Food had been the last thing on my mind all week. Instead I had been a lazy, sobbing mess with acne. Anytime I turned the telly on there'd be some report of the current Cold War going on up north and how we could all die in a nuclear explosion.
How the end of the world could happen at any minute and what was the point of living through something so catastrophic?
I stayed off the telly after that.
I wanted to go outside but every single fucking day I'd see Mrs. Wanda Popplewell watering the grass or sitting on their front porch with a cup of tea or martini. Curlers in her hair. Or perhaps she was driving Sheryl to school in her sickeningly bright power suit. I stayed in the backyard most of the time.
Angus offered to walk with me to places like the florist's or out to eat. And I always felt too sick to go. My lower back hurt and I felt sick to my stomach. Day after day after day it was always the same thing.
Not to mention I was on the verge of tears. Anything would set me off, from a song playing on our radio to just lying there in bed. Angus would sit up with me until I stopped but sometimes I cried myself to sleep. And I'd wake up to a nest of tissues.
Angus stood from the table, his chair scraping against the floor. He put his bowl in the sink and came up behind me, wrapping his arms around me. I felt his lips touch my hair. I hugged myself. "I'm sorry."
Angus didn't say anything. He only held me.
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A Hard Rain's A-Gonna Fall
FanfictionNo matter what happens...I'm still yours. A young woman's spiral and test of strength. Warnings: Mentions of depression and anxiety, brief mature scenes, mentions of suicide, character death. Book Three