ODDS OF LOVE : ONE MOMENT

Episode 29

Nigel woke up with a start in the darkened room that felt too stuffy all of a sudden. He shuffled in the hospital bed, mindful of his broken arm still in the sling and his broken ribs.  He looked over at Richard Norland who was wearing one of his usual suits minus the jacket and tie which he had long ago shed. He was asleep in the chair beside the bed, his head tossed back in peaceful slumber, his salt and pepper hair tussled nicely like he had been running his fingers through it. He was gorgeous.

Wait.... Wait. He could see Richard? His eye widened as his sleep groggy mind finally acknowledged that he could see once again.

He could see.

Oh dear God. He could see again! , he rejoiced silently. He wanted to wake up Richard and share his joy but didn't. The man had been with him since the accident. He had to be exhausted. Nigel chose to let him sleep on. He could surprise him in the morning.

With his good arm he reached for the hand mirror he saw on the nightstand beside the bed. He held it up to inspect the damage that they said was on his face. He had not really cared about the face burns because he was too concerned about being trapped in darkness forever. But he had not expected to see the disaster that looked back at him in the mirror. The whole right side of his face below his patch that covered his long missing eye was still swollen and deformed with what looked like a charred texture. His fingers tentatively touched it and he was alarmed that he felt nothing at the mere touch.

He had always felt marked when he had lost the eye in a fight in London when he was eighteen but right at this moment he felt hideous. Even with the eye he had still been fairly confident of his looks. Truthful , many men he had been with in his life had made sure to let him know that all he really had going for him was his looks. The platinum blond hair that he spent too much time styling with gel to get his favorite spiky look. The unusual purple shaded eye that some foolishly thought was a contact lense. His body. Without his looks what did he really have? , he worried.

He looked over at Richard. Richard whose three wives had all been so beautiful and graceful. Richard liked beauty.  Richard had just came out. He admitted having some feelings for him. But.... But how long could he expect Richard to actually want him this way? How long before the man cast him out like everyone else in his life had done?

And then another thought hit him hard. He was getting used to the thought of staying with Richard at the condo. Except that was only because he was blind and needed someone there to help him which he wouldn't have had at home. Now that he could see would Richard change his mind? Would he be going home to his and Marco's apartment tomorrow instead of Richard's condo? And what after that? Would Richard just stop coming to see him and his deformed face and missing eye?

And what about his job? He was still worried about the job at Cafe J. He could see now but he also knew that Joe wasn't the most understanding man out there. He liked pretty things surrounding him as much as Richard did. As much as Marco did. As much as the world in general did. Would Joe Jacobs still want him as assistant manager looking like this especially when the doctor cautioned earlier that skin grafts could only do so much. His burns were actually severe and had damaged nerves and tendons. There might be very little hope of repairing his face.

He wanted to scream. Why did that one moment in time have to take so much from him?

His eyes filled with tears and a small sob escaped his lips. He felt like a big baby instead of a grown man but he couldn't help it. He looked at Richard who to his eye looked like a beauty. While he felt like the beast.

Richard stirred in his chair and his eyes fluttered open. He saw Nigel sitting up in bed and smiled slightly , still looking sleep glazed. " Nigel, baby , what are you doing up ? Are you alright? "

Nigel tried to smile but couldn't. " I can see. "