All the Unsaid Things (enhypen)

|| Dare to dream ||

jungwon - pov 

Our little trip around the flooded city of Seoul in the middle of the night seemed to keep me happy for much longer than I usually am. I must remember to personally thank Heeseung with a similar beautiful unbelievable gift and a handwritten note telling him what a great friend he is.

Friends.

Are we even that anymore? Sometimes it feels more, sometimes less, but he has been so kind to me since the day we met I am forever in debt to his kindness that is not only towards me but the world in general. If only we had more of him.

The time I had spent with Heeseung that morning had tired me emotionally in ways I hadn't even thought possible as I fell asleep for the first time in a long time with the pendant still between my fingers, my final actions fidgeting with them. I woke to the clatter of dishes in the kitchen, still in a haze and the events of just a few hours prior blending into a blur that made them seem like dreams. I tried to locate the pendant at my collarbone, confirming it had all happened.

I hate Heeseung for what he does to me in ways no one else can, and I blush at the mere thought of him, it drives me crazy. Is this how Sunoo and Niki feel?

A pang of guilt hits my gut as I realize how sad it must make the both of them, to keep away from each other out in public, limit themselves to behind doors, and not able to show their true selves to the world because of some less-than-smart perceptions of being gay or bisexual. How they look at each other is so precious from the view of an outsider, their love deserves to be out in the open for everyone to treasure, but alas in respect of certain opinions, the world is far away from a utopia of that sort.

Rubbing the sleep out of my eyes, I exit the room into a busy kitchen, Jay cooking as usual and the rest either waiting for food or hanging around the living room, playing on the console. I avoided looking at Heeseung, but he didn't exactly register my presence, placing his full attention on the game in front of him.

"Good morning, Jungwon," a voice behind me said that seemed to be Jay's.
"You too, Merry Christmas hyung," I said in a cheerful voice that wasn't mine.
He nodded his acknowledgement while focusing on the cabbages drying in front of him, "Sleep well?"
"Mhm, you? Oh and, sorry if we disturbed you while heading out this morning,"
Jay laughed, "You're so sweet, of course not. Oh yeah, I meant to ask, where did you guys go?"

A sudden clip of a handsome figure pinning me roughly against a wall and staring down my exposed neck flooded my brain. I completely lost it. Similar thoughts of the same figure dressed all in black crept into my mind before I could control them, so I gulped with a shy smile, with no way to stop the obvious blood rushing to my face.

Fuck.

"Nowhere," I gasped in a panic, clearing my throat, "I mean, we didn't do much, just headed to the CVS and roamed the streets,"
"Are you good?" Jay asked, looking up from his chopped vegetables to analyse my expression.
"Yeah, all good,"
"You're shit at being subtle, you know that?" he reminded me with a raised eyebrow, "Your face gives everything away,"

I rolled my eyes, "I don't know what you're talking about," I said with sly sarcasm as I walked over to Sunghoon, Jake, Sunoo and Niki, who were sprawled on the floor in a circle with Monopoly laid out between them.

Jake looked up at me with puppy eyes, "Hey Jungwon! Good morning,"
"Oh and Merry Christmas," he mumbled as an afterthought, reverting his focus to the game.

"Merry Christmas everyone!" I exclaimed as the cheer in my voice returned.

Wishing me the same, they had moved around all the money and cards to make space for me to sit.