Equilibrium

TED

The car ride was silent but not in an awkward sense but more of what was there to say? We just stole a car to get away and we had no shoes on. As I looked ahead at the road, I could feel Jeff's eyes burning into the side of my head.

As the highway became more of a country side repetitive blur, with trees lining either side of us. My mind wandered.

Jeff was a strange fella, the more I spend time with him. Aloof, but could hold a conversation if you were the one to start it.

"Why did you kiss me?"

I was broken out of my thoughts by his words I couldn't help but tense up. His eyes were still burning into the side of my head.

"Because you kissed me"

The silence now was painfully loud. I adjusted myself in the drivers seat with tapping my fingers along the stirring wheel out of nerves.

"Do you like me?"
"Of course I do Jeff look at what we're doing here"
I dare glance over? eventually I did to see he was deadpanning out the window.
"Not like that I bet" he said coldly.
"Not like that?" I sighed out of frustration. He was confusing me and wasn't running away together because of the mess we're in some indication that we're pals?
"Like.. the men at the club" he stuttered and I couldn't help but snort.
"I'm not gay Jeff" what's his deal?
"Then why did you kiss me back? Huh? Just admit it, I won't tell nobody"
"I- uhh" I paused, glancing back over to see he was intently staring at me. Waiting for my answer.
"I was afraid I froze up"

I kept flicking my eyes to the road ahead and over to Jeff because he didn't lack of words frightened me. His body looked rigid...he didn't look too happy.

"So you're afraid of me?" He said all defensive like.
"No Jeff, please stop also, can you pull the map back out? I think we're lost"
"Then why did you say that?" Jeff's voiced got louder and I tried to reach for the map in his lap and he swatted me.

I could feel my insides bubbling up causing me to clench the stirring wheel tighter, causing the rubber to make a noise. I used my free hand to move to rest on the stick shift.

"Because I was scared of you"
"You're scared of me? You're a criminal" Jeff rasped with crossing his arms over his chest.
"And you're not? Please you need to fucking calm down" I seethed.
"I- I just thought it was real or something whatever"

I veered the car off the country road we were cruising on down a service road. It was quite bumpy, causing Jeff to start hollering. I pulled the car into park once we were in a good part of the road and reached over, hand on the back of Jeff's seat. He gawked at me in horror, looking around like a madman.

"Understand this, I am not that way I was at the club because some women suggested it at the diner and I went, I had no idea it was a gay club"

Jeff looked like a deer in headlights like I was a mother scolding a child. He stared, as I stared back he grew tense.
"Don't you have someone to you know" I spat, watching as Jeff's facial expression turned into disgust.
"No im- it's hard to come to terms with what I am"
"Jesus Christ I wish I didn't get into this mess"

I sighed, looking out the windshield.

"I'm sorry you can leave me here if you want" he whispered, damn it, he was pulling the burden card.

I shook my head and reached a hand over, to place my hand softly on his shoulder. "We're in this now you and me"
My eyes flicked to his eyes then to his lips.
"You and me huh?" He questioned happily with a smile.