CHAPTER FIVE; funeral

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"jesus christ, i'm so blue all the time
and that's just how i feel"

---

y/n's pov

My dad's funeral was probably one of the worst days of my life.

The only thing that made it good was the fact that Wes didn't leave my side all day, and even held my hand through most of it.

Tara, Amber, Mindy and Chad were at the funeral too, they sat further back with Wes' mom and the twins' parents.

Wes was allowed to sit next to me at the front, and I couldn't have been more thankful for him.

During the funeral, I was crying so hard I couldn't stop, and Wes kept his arm around me the whole time.

After the funeral, the wake was held at my house.

I sat with my friends in the living room on our couches while most people were gathered around the dining room area with my mom.

I was between Wes and Tara and the twins and Amber sat on the couch next to us.

"Sorry about your shirt." I apologized to Wes, looking at the wet patch on his shoulder and he offered me a smile.

"Don't worry about it. Seriously." He pat my hand and I sighed.

"I want this day to end." I sighed, sinking back into the couch. "I just want to go to sleep, or watch tv. Just ignore everything."

None of my friends said anything, but I could tell they were all thinking.

Wes moved his arm behind my head and around my shoulder before kissing the side of my head.

Now, when Tara saw that, I could see the look in her eyes, but I was glad she refrained from saying anything.

I wasn't in the mood.

Instead I reached for the tv remote and turned it on, ignoring the stares from my friends.

I put on Back to the Future, also known as my dad's favorite movie ever.

The volume wasn't up high, so the only people who could actually hear the movie were my friends and I.

I just stared blankly at the screen, and eventually so were my friends.

Except for Wes. He kept looking at me, like he was trying to figure something out. From his arm around my shoulder, his fingers were gently tracing my arm, and I tried my best to ignore it, just watching the movie on the tv.

But the movie made me think of my dad, which made me begin to cry some more.

"Y/N-" Mindy started and I just shook my head.

"Don't worry, Mindy." I waved her away, wiped my eyes and leaned closer into Wes.

---

People were still around in the evening when it got dark, but a significantly lower number than earlier in the day.

The twins and Amber had to leave, so now it was just me, Tara and Wes.

Over the last few days and all the affection Wes had been giving me, I wanted him to be my boyfriend so it could be like that all the time, just without the dead father.

I went to the kitchen to get a drink and when I came back, I could hear Wes and Tara talking in hushed voices in the living room.

"What? No. No, she's just sad and I want her to feel... Look, I just wanted to comfort her, okay?" Wes told Tara in a whisper. "I'm not pretending to be her boyfriend."

"You totally are, Wes. And guess what? She likes you, so you don't need to worry." Tara whispered back, which made me sigh.

Wes paused. "Wait, seriously?"

Then I walked back into the room before Tara could answer and the two of them quickly looked over at me again.

"Y/N, hey." Tara smiled at me and I narrowed my eyes at her, giving a look that told her I heard what she said.

I sat down again, and caught the look Wes gave Tara after he put his arm around my shoulder again.

"Are you okay?" He then asked me.

I shrugged. "I don't know. I guess I'll have to be. Eventually."

"Hopefully we won't have any more funerals anytime soon." Tara said.

"Yeah, hopefully not for another, maybe, 30 years or so." Wes nodded and I smiled.

"Hopefully." I lifted my hand and pushed some of Wes' hair away from his eyes. He looked down at me with a soft smile of his own.

The next funeral I went to was his, one year and a month after this.

That was even worse than this funeral.

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