Safe With You || Seth Cohen

||64||

I gripped Seth's hand as I sat by him on the couch. I tried to get the sight of Johnny falling out of my head, but I just couldn't. I couldn't erase the memory no matter how hard I tried. When the ambulance had gotten there and I'd seen the blood, I'd nearly fainted. And now we were just waiting to find out if Johnny was even going to make it. 

"You know what they say, no news is good news." Seth said suddenly and I glanced at him. 

"I'm not sure that's true when it comes to severe head trauma."

"We should have stayed at the hospital." Marissa stated. 

"There was nothing we could do there. The doctor told us to go home-sleep, eat." Ryan remarked. 

"Yeah except I can't sleep and I'm definitely not hungry." Marissa stated, laying her head on Ryan's shoulder. 

I looked up as Kirsten and Sandy walked in, holding bowls of food. They sat them on the coffee table and looked at each of us. "Hungry?"

"Come on, everyone needs to eat. Your friend Johnny's gonna need you when he wakes up." Sandy encouraged us.

"If he wakes up." Marissa stated morbidly.

"Marissa." Ryan started, but she glanced at him. 

"You were there."

"Yeah, I was."

I looked at the two of them in concern before glancing at Seth. 

"I'm gonna um, go check on Kaitlin in the pool house." Marissa stated, standing up and walking off. 

"How're you doing Ryan?" Sandy asked Ryan, looking concerned as he peered at his face. 

"She's right, I mean the way the doctors were talking, you could tell they didn't want to get our hopes up."

I stared numbly at the floor for a minute and only looked up when the phone rang. 

"Johnny's mom." Ryan told us as he peered at the caller ID.

"Do you think you ought to.." Seth trailed off. 

"I don't know, I don't know." Ryan said and I could tell this was taking a toll on him. 

"Do you want me to?" Sandy offered, but Ryan stood up.

"No, it's alright."

Ryan sighed and answered the phone as he walked over to the door. 

"Mrs. Harper, hey it's Ryan."

I watched as Ryan stopped walking and hung up the phone. I knew then what that meant. Johnny was dead. I felt tears well in my eyes as Marissa ran to Ryan and began crying. 

"I can't do this." I stated, walking away from the scene as quickly as I could. I made it to my room and closed the door, beginning to sob as soon as it closed. 

~~~~

"Ally, will you please open the door?" 

I sighed and sat up, wiping my eyes. I hadn't left my room since finding out about Johnny yesterday. I knew I shouldn't be as torn up about as I was. It wasn't like I was his best friend or anything, but I couldn't quell the guilt I felt. I felt like this was my fault. If I'd just been hit by the car, if Johnny had saved himself instead of me, he would still be alive. 

"Seth, I need a minute." I told him, hating the way my voice sounded. 

"Ally, please let me in. You can't do this to yourself. I won't let you." 

I closed my eyes for a second before standing up and unlocking the door. Seth took in my appearance and his face softened. 

"Come here."