Safe With You || Seth Cohen

||75||

                              5 Months Later
I walked towards my class, wincing as my head began to pound once again. I didn't get any sleep the night before, or any of the nights before that, for that matter. It was hard to sleep when your best friend was dead. At first, it was hard to even believe it was true. Then Ryan had come home and I saw his face and that made it true. He drew away from us all, leaving Newport and deciding not to attend Berkeley.

According to Seth, he worked in some bar/fight club and he hasn't came home since a few days after Marissa died. I knew that Ryan was taking this hard when he didn't attend the funeral. The funeral was hard enough, but it was even harder without Ryan there. Summer and I had been inseparable at the funeral, because we felt only we could understand what we were going through. Seth tried to understand, but he and Marissa had never been as close as Summer and I had been to her.

Losing her changed me. I didn't have the same cheeriness I used to feel. I wasn't overly motivated to finish my schoolwork, or even to pursue my career path as a therapist. Nothing seemed to matter anymore with her gone. I called Summer regularly, and it seemed like she had changed too. She was now a hard core environmentalist and involved in all sorts of protests at UCLA. Her and Ben had stayed together, but it was just like Seth and I. I felt like a part of myself was missing and Seth noticed. I wasn't the same Ally he was used to. There was an Ally before Marissa's death and after- and I was trying to figure out who the latter was.

"Miss Atwood, would you care to explain why you're late?" My professor asked as I walked into my History class. I glanced towards the clock and sighed. "Not really."

"You have one more time to be late to this class before you will be pushed out. Do you understand, Miss Atwood?"

"Yes." I stated, going to my seat. As I sat down, Serenity, the redheaded girl I'd met when I toured Brown months ago, poked me in the arm.

"Ally, you can't be late again."

"I know."

"Do you want to be kicked out?"

"I don't really care, Serenity. None of this matters anymore." I told her numbly as I looked down at my notebook.

Serenity stared at me for a moment, then sighed before leaning back in her seat. I ignored her frustration. She'd tried to be my friend when I'd arrived and I just wasn't able to be her friend. I felt like I would be replacing Marissa and there was no way I could ever do that.

After my class ended, I headed back to my dorm room and sat down on the bed. My phone rang and I picked it up.

"Hello?"

"Bonjour!"

"Taylor? How's Paris?"

"I think being an expat suits me. It's all wondeful, except I miss you."

"Well you can only hang around France so much before you start to get nostalgic for the motherland."

I heard Taylor speaking French to someone on the other end.

"It was great to talk to you. Don't be a stranger and have a great time in Paris."

"I will. Bye, Ally."

"Bye."

I sighed as I sat my phone back on the bed. As soon as I did, it began to ring again. I let it ring, not really wanting to talk to anyone else at the moment.

After a few rings, my answering machine cut on.

"Hey, Ally, it's me. So Friday morning,a little check in before the weekend. I'm still here kicking it Newport style and I can't believe I just said that. Ryan's decision to defer college seems to be working out well. He's got that new job, new place and new friends. I see Kaitlin from time to time and you'll never guess who she's befriended- Brad and Eric Ward- Luke's twin brothers. And Taylor sent me some photos from Paris, did you get them too? Her email was in French. Anyways, it was great to catch up. Only a couple more months until I'm at RISD and we're together. I know you're doing the college thing and all that, and I should be giving you space, but Im in some sketchy neighborhood trying to find your brother. Not to sound like my mom, but I'm worried about him. He could be in real trouble this time."