His screams still haunt me. They way his body faded right infront of me. The way his life flashed before my eyes. I couldn't get the image of him floating away into nothing out of my head. I wanted to stop thinking about it, because it was ruining me. I did, I really did. But I just couldn't. I felt empty without him. Like when he died, so did a part of my soul. That day, May 2nd 1998, a piece of me died. I tried so hard to fill that piece and be happy, but no matter how hard I tried, it just wasn't possible. None of the guys were him, no one was him. His death may not have silenced the world, but is sure as hell silenced me.
I knew he wouldn't come back, but a part of me wanted to believe he would. The only way I knew how to cope was to get high, high off anything I could find. With the right substance, he was there, that part of me was back, my heart was whole again. After about 30 minutes after I snorted the line, there he was, sitting in his favorite spot in my dorm, my window seat.
"Draco"
I smile as I crawled to the end of the bed and sat. I let out a sigh of relief as I saw him, reading a book.
"Hey princess"
He said without looking at me. He was wearing those stupid reading glasses I loved so much. That same old black suit, his hair messy and undone, just the way he knew I loved.
"You know,"
He started while putting down his book.
"I'm not coming back."
I shot him a confusing look.
"Of course you are silly, your right here"
He stood up, hands in his pockets as he roamed my room. He eyed everything.
"No, princess, I'm not. I'm not real. This isn't real."
I began to stand up.
"Your crazy Draco. You're here, I'm here. We're here, together."
"No my sweet girl, I'm gone. And I'm not coming back."
Tears welded in my eyes.
"Stop! Stop saying that! Y-your right here"
I sniffled. I walked closer.
"Y/n, doing drugs isnt going to fill the void. I love you, but this is extremely dangerous"
I took another step closer.
"I'm not here. I'm no where. I'm a figment of your imagination."
I quickly walked over to hug him, when I tried, nothing. He was gone. I fell to my knees and buried my face in my hands.
"For fucks sake Draco! Please, I need you."
I look up to see him standing by a white door. It wasn't the one to my room, no. It was big, with gold accents and, clouds around it? What fairytale is this?
"You need to move on my love. I'm gone. I'm not coming back. You need to heal and be happy."
"I can't Draco, not without you"
"Oh sure you can, you just haven't tried hard enough."
I stand up.
"I love you okay? But I must get going, see you in another life my sweet girl"
He opened the door before looking at me one last time, and stepped out.
"No!"
I ran towards the door, but before I could reach it, it was gone.
"Please"
I screamed.
"Please Draco! Don't go!"
I heard my door open, I snapped my head, hoping it would be him. But to my surprise, it wasn't. It was Pansy.
"Oh y/n..."
She said quietly.
"He was right there! I saw him"
I muttered out, tears streaming down my face.
"He's gone, y/n"
She walked over and gave me a huge, tight hug. My face was buried into her shoulders as her head rested on my shoulder.
"He was there pansy"
"You're high y/n, he's not coming back"
I realized what my life had come to. She was right, he was gone and he wasn't coming back. It was true, I was just too high to realize I was hallucinating. He was gone, and I had to stay high, all the time to keep him off my mind.
