Violets are Blue (The King's Affection fanfiction)

Six

Just when she thought she could leave the past all behind, The Grand Queen Dowager suddenly rose from her slumber, trying to catch her breath. She didn't voluntarily wake from her sleep nor did the sudden insomnia derive from her aging. She'd consume all of her tonics the royal physician had prescribed, too, and was just beginning to feel herself again.

This wasn't the first time she experienced this awful flashback in its finest nightmare form. At first, it had happened quite often. It only gradually became better after her husband, the king before last, had passed. Then, when her son, Lee Hyejong, was crowned as his father's successor, the same nightmare occurred. It was as if she was being haunted by her in-laws' ghosts.

"It's not my fault," she sobbed silently to herself.

The royal lineage was anything but normal and Her Royal Highness had established that when she married into the royal family. She wasn't given any other options other than to marry the husband her father had chosen for her.

Now, as the Grand Queen Dowager, she had no choice either. Her bloodline was about to end with Lee Hwi, or should she say, Dam-I, yet there was nothing she could do.

If her husband hadn't seized the throne from his brother...

The Grand Queen Dowager sighed. She admits she had been guilt-ridden and this feeling seemed to have only worsened over time. Perhaps, it was due to how great Hwi had been treating her regardless of the decisions she had been forced to make. She found it ironic that her title was one that people highly respected yet she had so little power.

As she closed her eyes and tried to fall back asleep, she tried to shift her mind from the horrible nightmare to Hwi. She was sure he was doing fine. Considering that "she" was raised to be a "he", The Grand Queen Dowager expected nothing less. Maybe these nightmares were just that.

The throne was safe and secure now...

The thought of losing Hwi eventually made her cry herself to sleep, even sleeping through her usual time to rise the next morning.

"Should we summon the royal physician?" one maid asked another.

"That is not necessary," The Grand Queen Dowager sat up just in time to ease the maids' minds.

They'd all concluded that it was a bit odd that the woman slept so late. It was so unlike her, considering she had been accustomed to early morning greetings.

"Your Highness."

Two maids helped her on her feet while another team of four tended to her bedding. In a short period of time, she changed into a fresh new set of daily attire, ready for the morning greetings.

"Your Highness, would you like your breakfast now since there will be no morning greeting today?"

The Grand Queen Dowager turned to the maid who piped the question. She had totally forgotten that Hwi had left for the royal expedition just yesterday. She nodded, and the maid signaled for the Grand Queen Dowager's first meal be served at once.

This would take some getting used to. She was lonely now. Other than daily walks around the palace, admiring the same plants in the royal gardens, and partaking in a little archery session, she couldn't seem to occupy herself or her mind of anything else.

"Your Highness, the royal physician will enter," said a eunuch's voice.

"Let him enter," she replied weakly.

"Your Highness," said Royal Physician Choi, kneeling before her.

"What brings you in this late in the afternoon?" The Queen Dowager wondered aloud.